


toys over flowers

by yunsans



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: (kind of), Barebacking, Blowjobs, Bottom San, Cat Ears, Choking, Cosplay, Crossdressing, Dildos, Drinking, Established background Seongjoong, Eventual Smut, Exhibitionism, Facials, Finger Sucking, Fluff and Smut, Gay Panic, Intermittent angst but mostly smut, M/M, Masturbation, Mild dacryphilia, San dresses like a catboy, Sex Toys, Sex Work, Slow Burn, Wooyoung is a flamboyant gay, Yunho learns how to be dom, cam sex, everyone is gay except for mingi, jongho is a bartender, really cringy pet play but it's intentional
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28633761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yunsans/pseuds/yunsans
Summary: Yunho, an innocent flower shop clerk, rekindles with an old friend who happens to be gay, and very,veryattractive. An accidental date and countless hours of gay porn later, Yunho is stuck grappling with his sexuality, all the while San seems to be hiding something, and San's secret flips Yunho's world upside down.(alternatively: camboy san helps yunho make his porn debut)((find me on twt: @yunsannies))
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho
Comments: 87
Kudos: 209





	1. hydrangea-blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yunho loved his job. 

He loved how cozy it was—a quaint flower shop nestled peacefully amongst an array of coffee shops, bookstores, and family-owned restaurants. 

He loved putting together the orders for his customers, neatly arranging each individual flower to form a perfect bouquet. He was good at it, too—just one of the many reasons he was selected for the job. The other: his uncanny ability to draw in young women to the shop by simply standing out front, tending to the flower displays. Although he was too shy to admit it to himself, his charm was undeniable. He was enchantingly innocent, almost dreamlike against the delicate floral backdrop, like a character out of a storybook. 

But, to Yunho, his job at the flower shop wasn’t about the female attention, although that aspect certainly couldn’t be overlooked. It was a job—one he cherished with every fiber of his being. One he took very seriously, unlike most of his coworkers. 

Yunho turned the key in the latch, swinging the front door open to the familiar chime of a bell, alerting the flowers of his arrival. The shop smelled overwhelmingly of fresh flower petals, like the world’s most chaotic perfume. But to Yunho, even so early in the morning, the scent only reminded him of where he felt most at home. 

Sun filtered through the shops’ large windows, washing over the flowers inside, bathing them in warmth. Behind the counter, he rummaged for his apron before pulling it over his head, bringing his hands behind his back to secure it with a neat bow. His nametag proudly displayed his name, Jeong Yunho, accompanied by an array of cute decorative stickers. 

He was the picturesque image of innocence. His hydrangea-blue hair complimented the bright display of flowers inside the shop, styled messily in a way that looked effortless. He glowed in the sunlight as he worked, eyes sparkling with wonder as they did every day, as if there was always something new and exciting to discover. 

He spent most of the morning setting up his display outside, stacking the neatly arranged pots of flowers outside the store-front. On warm spring days like today, he could leave the shop doors open, letting the flowers in the shop bask in the warmth of the sun. He flashed an inviting smile at a few passerbys, greeting them with an expression as warm as the sunshine itself. 

The street would soon be vibrant and bustling with tourists—it was a busy area of town, one famous for its quaint charm. Yunho fit right in, almost like an actor playing the role of the cute flower shop clerk. It wasn’t uncommon on days like these for him to be approached by girls asking for his number, or flirting with him in the hopes of a fantasy flower shop fling. He nearly always turned them down, albeit gently.

But today, it was a different customer who caught his attention—his friend, Mingi, entering confidently through the open shop door, followed by a familiar face, one he couldn’t place at first. 

“Yunho!” Mingi greeted with a smile and a casual wave, taking a good look around the shop. “How’s business this morning?”

“Good,” Yunho chuckled. “You’re actually my first customers today. What are you doing here?”

Yunho’s eyes drifted to Mingi’s companion, who had already wandered off to gaze at a display of roses near the corner of the shop before Yunho could get a good look at him. 

“I was thinking of getting some flowers for my girlfriend,” Mingi explained. Yunho nodded, but his gaze was elsewhere. He couldn’t place where he knew the other man, but his back was now turned. “It’s our anniversary tomorrow.”

“Right,” Yunho smiled, gesturing around to the flower-lined walls around him. “You came to the right place for that.”

“San!” Mingi called across the shop, snapping the attention of his company.

_San?_

The man turned on his heels, flashing a dimpled smile to Mingi. 

_San._

His eyes locked on Yunho immediately, realization seeming to hit him almost as suddenly as it hit Yunho. 

“Oh my god. Yunho?” San abandoned his business by the roses, sauntering over to assume a spot next to Mingi, his warm smile still plastered across his face. “It’s been so long!”

_San._ When’s the last time Yunho saw him anyway? Freshman year of high school? He looked so different, and yet entirely the same—the same piercing eyes, the same dimpled smile, the same sharp, cutting jawline that had all the girls fawning for him in school. 

“I hardly recognized you!” Yunho responded, taking a moment to glance up and down at his childhood friend’s new look. “What has it been, like…” He counted on his fingers, mentally doing the math. “...9 years since we saw each other?”

“Something like that,” San responded playfully, eyes also traveling up and down Yunho’s figure in intrigue. “You must have grown a foot since I saw you last!”

Mingi’s eyes widened, shooting quick glances back and forth between his two friends. “Wait, hold on. You guys know each other?”

“We were in the same friend group back in the day,” San explained, turning his gaze to Mingi.

“Before I moved during my freshman year,” Yunho finished. “I was so busy at my new school though, I didn’t really keep in touch.”

“Guess I was on to something thinking you two might get along.” Mingi shot a glance at San, sneaking a not-so-discreet wink. “You two go ahead and catch up. I’m gonna look around.”

Yunho and San both watched as Mingi trotted off towards a display of lilies. San turned back to Yunho with a chuckle, leaning against the counter nonchalantly. He fixed his eyes on Yunho. “So how long have you known Mingi for?” 

“Oh, Mingi? We met in a dance class a few years ago. How do _you_ know him?”

“He’s a family friend. We’ve gotten closer recently though.”

“Ah…” Yunho nodded, an awkward silence settling between them for a minute. 

Yunho was miles different than he was at the ripe age of fourteen, when he’d last talked with San. He wasn’t sure how to act now, or what to say. All he knew was San seemed… different, in a way he couldn’t explain. 

San leaned in a bit, fiddling with a strand of his hair. The first thing Yunho had noticed was San’s hair. It was much longer than when he’d last seen him, falling messily around his eyes, a blonde streak painted in the front of his hair where before it had been closely-cut, natural colored, and mostly unremarkable. Nothing about how San looked now, however, was unremarkable. He looked like he stepped straight out of a magazine, or like some sort of celebrity. He was always popular in school for his looks and outgoing personality, but he was on another level now. He was soft, but striking. Energetic, but mysterious. Yunho couldn’t make sense of it. He was hardly the same person. 

“So… are you going to university?” San asked, cutting through the thick silence in the air.

“Oh, no, I graduated last semester,” Yunho replied. “I’ve just been working at the flower shop these days.”

San hummed, eyes wandering around the shop, then back to Yunho. “It suits you. The shop, I mean.”

“I’ve been told that before,” Yunho replied with a soft chuckle, casually playing off the blush that crept up on his cheeks. He’d heard it many times before, but there was something different about the way San said it. Sincere. “So what are you doing these days then? I’m assuming you would have graduated university around the same time as me, right?”

San shifted against the counter. “Ah—uh… yeah, I did go to school for a bit but, uh—” 

San’s train of thought was interrupted by a firmly placed hand on his shoulder, Mingi springing up to his side enthusiastically, face plastered with that infectious Mingi-smile he was notorious for. “Sorry to interrupt the fun, but could one of you help me over here? I’m trying to decide which colors she’d like.”

“I’ll help you!” San exclaimed, swiveling eagerly on his heels to follow Mingi to the far wall of the shop. He shot a quick glance back at Yunho, a warm smile dancing up on his lips. “It was nice catching up.”

Yunho nodded, but not before San was whisked away by Mingi, off in the corner looking at the display of tulips. Yunho leaned his elbows against the counter, resting his head in his hand as he watched them browse his carefully arranged flower selection. 

There was something so intriguing about the “new” San that he just couldn’t place. His appearance was soft, light, and yet he seemed shrouded in mystery. Yunho had always felt that way about San, even in middle school. San was outgoing, popular and well-liked, but he always had an air about him that was someone untouchable, and that only multiplied exponentially as he aged, it seemed.

Yunho tended to a few other customers who filtered in while the two of them browsed the store. Eventually, Mingi returned with his selection, scribbled on a notepad in what Yunho immediately noticed was not Mingi’s handwriting. It must have been San’s. It made sense, actually. Mingi had no innate taste for flowery romance, or knowing what girls like, for that matter. San, on the other hand, looked like the kind of guy who had girls worshipping at his feet—this probably wasn’t the first time he picked out flowers for a girl. That’s probably why Mingi brought him. 

“I’ll have your arrangement ready tomorrow morning, and you can come pick it up then,” Yunho said, extending his hand to give Mingi his receipt. 

San stood a few steps back, obstructed by Mingi’s tall frame. Yunho had expected him to say something else, or at least give another friendly smile on his way out, but he left with Mingi quietly, slipping out the door without even so much as a look.

“Dude, you should go back,” Yunho heard Mingi whisper in San’s direction as soon as they were out of sight of the counter, although it wasn’t so much a whisper as a not-so-discreet hiss. Mingi wasn’t exactly known for his subtlety, and the door wasn’t far from Yunho’s position. 

_Go back...?_

Oh well. The shop was empty for the moment, and Yunho glanced at the antiquated wall clock indicating it was noon already—time to check on the outdoor display. He swung around the counter, heading towards the shop door when a sudden shadow blocked the light. Startled, he stumbled back, a small gasp escaping his lips. 

His eyes focused on the figure now. San?

San raised his hands defensively before bringing one of them up to stroke the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Oh gosh, sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Yunho assured, straightening out his apron slightly, unsure what to do with his hands now. “Did you leave something?” 

“No, actually, I… uh—I wanted to see if you wanted to catch up over drinks later tonight. I know this bar in the neighborhood... maybe when you get off work?”

Yunho’s eyes widened at the proposal. It was unexpected, to say the least, considering how San had been so distant after their conversation. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Yunho responded after a beat, his surprise softening into a friendly grin. “I get off at 8. Mingi has my number, maybe you can get him to text me the address?”

“Sounds great,” San smiled wide, two charming dimples painting his cheeks. “See you then.”  
  
San swiveled on his heels, leaving with a gait far more energetic than the one he left with just moments before. His entire demeanor had changed on a dime. Yunho didn’t dwell on the thought for too long, though. He had flowers to be tended to. 

\--

Yunho stood in front of the bar, hands fiddling nervously with his phone in his hand, re-confirming the address of the place Mingi had sent him earlier. He shifted back and forth on his heels anxiously, eyes scanning the street for San. Yunho certainly wasn’t shy about meeting new people, but something about meeting an old friend was even more nerve wracking, as if he felt the need to live up to some unspoken expectation of his former self. 

Truth be told, he could barely remember who he was when San knew him—he’d grown a lot since freshman year of high school, both physically and in personality. He wasn’t even sure what he had to talk about. It was a good thing he knew there would be drinks involved, or he’d have been a lot more anxious. San should have just been coming up around the—

“Hey stranger.”

Yunho turned on his heels, jumping back slightly at the sudden sound from behind him. San stood confidently behind him. His outfit was entirely different from what he’d been wearing in the flower shop. Yunho could remember San’s earlier outfit clearly—a muted green floral button up over a mesh turtleneck, paired with closely fitted tan jeans. It made him look soft, approachable, gentle. 

His nighttime outfit was the direct antithesis to his earlier display of character. He was dressed in all black now, the only hint of light coming through in his platinum hair-streak. He donned tightly fitted black jeans tucked into a well-worn pair of Doc Martens. On top, he wore a black tee under a neatly fitted leather jacket. A small silver chain necklace, adorned with crosses, hung around his neck. 

His expression told an entirely different story. He wore a playful, inviting smile, complete with bright-white teeth and his signature dimples. His eyes smiled brightly with him. 

“You look nice,” San complimented, drawing his eyes up and down Yunho. A bit strange, considering he’d seen him just seen him that morning in the shop. He was wearing an apron, though, he supposed. It must have been about his outfit. 

“Oh—ah, thanks. You too,” Yunho replied. “You really have a taste for fashion, huh?” 

“You think?” San glanced down at his outfit, tugging at the hem of his jacket. “Thanks.” 

San opened the bar door. It was heavy and industrial, and San kicked his foot under it, holding it open with his body weight. “After you,” he jested with a teasing bow, using his free hands to playfully usher him through.

He must have been a regular there, Yunho noted, watching as San made his way straight to the bar without even a moment of hesitation.

San slid out the bar seat, gesturing for Yunho to take it. Everything San did was smooth, effortless, charming. Yunho was jealous, a bit. In contrast, he felt awkward, nervous, and lanky. He slipped into the seat, and San found his place in the chair to the left.

San handed Yunho the folded drink menu, the corner of his lips drawing up into a charismatic grin. “Drinks are on me. What’ll you have?” 

“O-oh. Thanks. That’s really nice of you.”

Yunho leafed through the sprawling menu, admiring the overwhelming collection of long-winded drink names and unpronounceable liquors. Admittedly, he wasn’t exactly an expert on alcohol—his innocent demeanor wasn’t merely for show. He was notoriously lightweight, and never really ventured past a beer at a social gathering. His eyes flicked desperately across the menu, searching for something that seemed simple. 

“I’ll take a Long Island Iced Tea,” he proclaimed confidently, sliding the drink menu to San. 

He didn’t even glance at the menu before placing his order, resting his elbow on the table and leaning in flirtatiously over the bar counter. “Sex on the Beach for me, please.”

Yunho nearly choked on air. _A what_ on the beach? 

Their drinks arrived as they made small talk. A heavy weight seemed to slide off of Yunho’s shoulders as he took his first sip of . It was sweet, but he would have been lying to say he couldn’t taste the harsh bitterness of the liquor underneath the sweet tea’s guise. 

San sipped his like it was as normal as a lemonade. If it wasn’t clear before that he was a seasoned bar-goer, it certainly was now. The one thing Yunho didn’t expect was how… frilly San’s drink would be. Based on San’s beaming confidence in the bar, he expected him to be drinking something more hardened, like a whiskey. However, his drink was anything but hardened—a fruity shade of red melting into sunset-orange, topped with a Maraschino cherry and an orange slice dangling precariously over the edge. He had to admit though, it looked good. 

Yunho’s drink was gone before he had a second to even taste it. His nerves must have been worse than he thought. San called the bartender over with a flick of his wrist, signaling wordlessly to get Yunho a refill. 

As he drank, he felt his anxiety slipping away into a pleasured haze. How strong was that drink, anyway? And how had he already had two?

Yunho did his best to stay grounded, turning all his energy to the conversation between him and San. As he loosened up, the words seemed to flow back easily.

“So… do you still do Taekwondo?” Yunho asked, shifting the subject from their previous talk of his flower shop. For once, he didn’t feel like talking about work. He wanted to know more about San. After all, it’d been nearly nine years since they last spoke.

“I can’t believe you remembered! But, no, not really anymore, but sometimes they ask me to teach classes to some of the kids at the studio,” San took a sip of his drink slowly. A playful glimmer sparkled in his eyes as he trained them back on Yunho, a soft smile gracing his lips. “If you want to come down there some time I can show you some moves. Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you because you’re handsome.”

Yunho chuckled, following San’s lead by taking another sip of his, ice cubes rattling in his glass as he finished it off. San motioned to the bartender for another. San was charming, that was for sure. He struck Yunho as the kind of guy who just made friends wherever he went.

“I might take you up on that offer,” Yunho teased with a chuckle. He felt the warmth of the alcohol rush over him suddenly, brain cloudy with a thick fog. 

He rose from his seat slowly, taking an apprehensive step forward. _Shit._ The dizziness hit him like a truck full of laughing gas. How strong was that drink? It was deceptively sweet, unexpectedly tall, and he’d downed it much too quickly. 

“I’m gonna—find the restroom,” Yunho mumbled, taking another step. The floor seemed to inch forward like a slow-moving treadmill, but he was standing still. Well, trying to, at least.

“Hey, hey,” San stood up quickly at his side, draping Yunho’s arm over his shoulder to steady him. “You don’t look so good…”

“No, I’m fine,” Yunho dismissed. His actions contradicted himself, swaying lightly by San’s side, still stabilizing himself. “I’m, uh—I just need some fresh air, I think.”

San nodded, then motioned for the bartender. “You can close my tab.” 

Yunho felt the blood rush to his face, an embarrassed blush pooling over his cheeks, staining his face even redder than the drunken blush that painted it before. “I’m sorry, I—”

“Don’t apologize,” San cut in quickly. “Let’s just get you some fresh air, okay?”

Yunho stumbled forward, removing his arm from San’s shoulder to alleviate any extra weight. He felt bad, cutting the conversation short thanks to his apparently _very_ low tolerance of alcohol. 

“Slowly,” San encouraged softly at his side. “I got you.”

He felt San’s hand support around his waist now, the other placed firmly at the small of his back. A warm breeze kissed Yunho’s cheeks as the bar door swung open. San guided him slowly to the side, easing Yunho’s back up against the wall. 

“We’ll just stay here for a moment, alright?”

Yunho managed to nod in response. He felt mostly fine, but his legs weren’t quite working right, and his head felt fuzzier with each passing second. Each thought took a moment to buffer, and the world seemed to come through at 480p. 

“Are you feeling okay?” San prompted after a moment. He was just inches from Yunho, keeping his hand protectively against the wall, head tilted upwards to meet Yunho’s eyes. Yunho realized now how much he towered over San’s smaller frame. 

“Yeah, I feel okay… just, uh—just a little dizzy.” He bit his lip, withdrawing his gaze. “I was embarrassed to tell you this, but I’m not really—well, I don’t really drink.”

San let out an unrestrained laugh, his eyes forming into crescents. “Oh god, Yunho. So you’ve never had a Long Island before?”

“I’ve actually… well, I’ve never had any mixed drink before.”

San's laughter softened into concern, eyebrows pinched together as he took another glance at Yunho's condition. His cheeks were red-hot, head swaying lightly, limbs handing visibly heavy on his frame.

“God, you really are as innocent as you look, huh? Those things can hit you quickly if you’re not careful. And you had _two_ of them. If I’d known you hadn’t drank before I wouldn’t have ordered you a refill.” San moved around to Yunho’s side again, positioning his hand back at Yunho’s waist. “Do you think you can walk? I’ll take you home.”

Yunho nodded, using all his strength to push his heavy limbs off of the wall. 

“Just use me for support if you need it, okay?” San handed Yunho his phone, already open to a navigation app. “Here, put in your address.”

Yunho typed in his address clumsily, fingers lingering a bit too long over each key. His place was nearby, but a bit of a walk—about thirty minutes. Normally, that walk would be nothing for him, but in his current state of tipsiness, it sounded like a nightmare. 

San kept his hands close to Yunho’s side, ready at any moment to steer him back in a straight line when he inevitably wobbled. 

The thirty minutes melted away like seconds as they walked together—not only because of Yunho’s fuzzy vision or the way that the concrete sidewalk seemed to move under him, but also because the conversation between them that flowed so effortlessly, despite the mental strain it took for Yunho to form coherent words. 

Thanks to San’s navigation, he didn’t even need to pay attention as he walked to where he was, only on the one-two rhythm of his drunken gait, and San’s deep, relaxing voice coaxing him along with distracting stories and words of encouragement as Yunho fought the alcohol keeping his limbs heavy. 

The arrival at his building snuck up to him quickly. Something inside him screamed at him not to go inside, and to take another lap with San, just so he could keep enjoying his conversation. Another part of him just wanted to pass out.

“I should be alright from here. Thanks again,” Yunho turned around, facing his back to his apartment building’s entrance. “Maybe we could catch up again sometime soon?”

“That sounds great. I had a really great time tonight. Bye.”

He expected San to turn then, to walk off into the night without a second glance. But instead, he felt the gentle caress of San’s lips against his cheek, the soft warmth of his breath lingering there for a moment before pulling away.

San’s… lips?

It was barely enough time for Yunho’s head to catch up to what happened before San was down the steps, his small black-clad frame swiftly disappearing around the corner. 

“W-wait—” he called, voice betraying him. It didn’t matter, though. San was long gone. 

He stood as still as a statue for a moment, limbs frozen in place as his brain connected the dots. His hand wandered up to his face, letting his fingertips ghost over the small patch of skin where San’s lips had made contact. He stumbled back against the glass door, this time pointedly sober.

As he regained his balance, his mind formed the only coherent thought it could manage: 

_What the hell just happened?_


	2. panic-mode

**_9:12am Yunho:_** I need to talk to you.

 ** _9:15am Mingi:_** is this about last night?? I wanna hear everything

 ** _9:17am Yunho:_** Can we do this in person?

 **_9:22am Mingi:_ ** sure, I’m coming to pick my bouquet up at 10, remember? talk there?

_Shit_. Work. He forgot. 

He was already late—his shift was supposed to start at 9, but there was no way he was making it in this morning. He felt like he got run over by a truck. 

Thankfully, it was Saturday, meaning he wasn’t scheduled alone at the shop—or he would have had an earful from the owner about missing an opening shift. He switched message tabs to his coworker, Yeosang, who was scheduled to open today. He was surprised he didn’t already have a million missed calls, but then again, this _was_ Yeosang. He didn’t really care where you were as long as you weren’t intruding on his space.

**_9:25am Yunho:_** Hey Yeosang, I’m not gonna make it for my shift this morning. Feeling sick. Would you mind covering for me today? 

**_9:30am Yeosang:_** Yeah, whatever. That’s fine.

 ** _9:31am Yunho:_** I owe you. Thanks.

Yunho hoisted himself upright in bed, leaning himself up against his pillows. He could feel the throb of his brain pounding against his skull. He felt arguably worse than he did last night when drinking, like he’d been hit by a car and kicked in the head. A bout of nausea washed over him, and his eyes burned at the warm sunlight filtering through his large bedroom window. So _this_ is what those hangovers he saw in movies felt like. 

**_9:32am Yunho:_** Not going in to work today. Wanna meet up for coffee or something?

 ** _9:35am Mingi:_** yeah man, is 11 good? i’ll text you the place 

**_9:36am Yunho:_ **Sounds good

He set his phone down face down beside him. His anxiety was alleviated knowing he could at least talk to Mingi about what happened, and try to maybe gain some insight. After all, Mingi knew San, undoubtedly a lot better than Yunho did. 

His mind was already running every possibility, every angle, to what the hell went down on his apartment building’s doorstep last night. The gears in his head turned so quickly they practically sparked. 

Scenario One: San was an affectionate guy, who probably sees nothing weird about kissing his old friend platonically after a nice night out. After all, he only grazed his cheek. It wasn’t _really_ a kiss. Europeans kiss each other's cheeks as a greeting, if Yunho remembered correctly from a foreign cultures class he took once. Yeah, that made sense. Except San wasn’t European, and this kiss wasn’t exactly a friendly peck.

Scenario Two: He was drunker than he thought, and completely imagined it. He completely imagined San’s soft lips pressed gently against the skin of his cheek, the warm breath against his face that smelled like cherry liqueur and orange peels. 

And finally, Scenario Three, the one that had Yunho’s mind spiraling into panic-mode, the one that made the most sense and yet he struggled to grapple with fully: San was gay, and last night was a date. 

A throb of pain hit Yunho like a lightning bolt to the skull. His brain was short-circuiting again, as he ran last night’s events over and over in his mind. The clues fit together like the world’s easiest puzzle pieces. Even a child could have solved it. But Yunho wasn’t ready to accept that yet. He was, however, ready for a handful of painkillers. 

\--

Yunho had never had coffee so good in his life. Well, that was probably just the hangover talking. He took a sip before he even left the counter, desperate for the sweet hit of caffeine, before heading over with Mingi to a table tucked away in the corner of the cafe. It was a cute place—the aesthetic suited Yunho’s innocence nicely. Behind their table, a wall of decorative vines snaked up the wall.

Mingi settled down into his seat, wiggling a bit to adjust his position excitedly. “So… tell me everything!” 

Yunho sighed. “He kissed me.”

“That’s great, dude!” Mingi’s face lit up with a smile, taking a sip of his drink.

“Mingi—he _kissed_ me,” Yunho repeated seriously. “Like with his lips.”

“And how was it?”

“He _kissed_ me,” Yunho emphasized. “Is that not weird to you?”

“Well, you were on a date, weren’t you?”

“A… a date?”

“Yeah, I told San that he should ask you out on a date. He thought you were really cute, you know.”

Yunho gulped, feeling the panicked headrush he had earlier come back with a vengeance, the puzzle pieces once again falling together into their places. San’s compliments, his flirtatious smile, paying for drinks, his hand supporting the small of Yunho’s back, the kiss. _A date._

“Why would you tell him that? Mingi, I’m not gay.”

“You aren’t? Oh...” Mingi’s voice trailed off. 

“You thought I was _gay_? Since when?”

“A while, I guess. You never care to talk about girls with me… in fact, I’ve never even seen you with one, even though they’re all over you. I figured you just didn’t really talk about it,” Mingi rubbed his neck nervously. “I’m sorry, should I tell San—”

“No,” he interjected seriously.

“So are you gonna tell him yourself then? He really seemed to like you, Yunho.”

Yunho wasn’t listening though. His mind was on a constant loop, replaying his doorstep encounter over, and over, and over. San’s lips, his breath, his smile.

Mingi wasn’t wrong—Yunho never talked about girls. He never really thought about them, either. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had crushes on girls before. He even slept with some in college. But he’d never really been interested past that. He always thought he just hadn’t met ‘the one’ yet, and he’d know it when it happened. He’d know when he felt that movie-magic spark, that fluttering feeling in his stomach.

That feeling he got when San kissed him.

“I’m—I’m not sure. I really enjoyed our… time yesterday,” Yunho responded finally, carefully avoiding the word ‘date’. 

Mingi clearly sensed his hesitation, responding cautiously, but supportively now. “Maybe you should give it one more date, and see how you feel.”

Yunho knew Mingi was right. He nodded, staring down into his coffee cup now. His thoughts were messy—he couldn’t quite make sense of them as they were. It all felt so sudden. One day he was convinced he was straight, the next he was considering a second date with a guy who’d just kissed him out of nowhere. 

“So San… San’s gay then?”

Mingi chuckled. “Of course he is. It’s not like he’s hiding that.” A pause. “I figured you knew that. You knew him in high school, right?”

“Only the first year. I transferred right before the end of it.”

“Right. San told me he came out in high school, so I just figured…” Mingi’s voice trailed off.

“It’s fine. But, no, I had no idea.” 

Mingi cleared his throat, tapping nervously on his coffee cup. Yunho could tell he felt bad about the whole situation, but the truth was it really wasn’t his fault. It was a misunderstanding at worst.

“So… you’re gonna see him again?”

Yunho swallowed hard. “Yeah… I think I will.”

Mingi’s face lit up again, flashing that bright smile Yunho grew to love. “Good.”

They sipped their coffee for a while, and Yunho did his best to steer the conversation off of San for the rest of their outing, though he quickly realized that not talking about him was somehow harder than talking about him. As he dipped and weaved through every subject but the one on his mind, his mind screamed at him, disrupting his every wandering thought: _San, San, San, San._

Fuck. Why couldn’t he stop? This was dumb. He’d only seen him for a grand total of four hours, and it ended as innocently as a peck on the cheek. So why? What was this feeling?

Mingi left eventually, heading to his anniversary lunch date with his girlfriend. Yunho admired the bouquet he carefully crafted for Mingi, who displayed it proudly in his hands as he left the cafe. 

Yunho’s eyes wandered between his empty coffee cup and his phone, face down on the table at his side, as if it was taunting him. He should text San, right? That would be the next logical step, after all. He’d agreed with Mingi that he would entertain the idea of a second date with him. 

After a minute of anxious hesitation, he grabbed his phone from the table, opening it and scrolling to “S” in his contacts. His eyes fixed on San’s number in his phone as he pressed “new message” next his name. The empty messages screen taunted him, like everything else seemed to today.

His thumbs hovered over the keyboard, trembling. He hadn’t texted San yet since they met again—not just after their date, but at all. How should he act? Flirty? Friendly? Serious? Indifferent? 

He didn’t know how to do this whole “texting-your-crush” thing. Wait—was San his crush? No, Yunho didn’t like guys like that. 

Did he?

His head was spinning. How was he supposed to text San without even knowing what he wanted? He wanted a second date—no, he just wanted to see San again. 

He lost track of the amount of times he typed, then erased, then re-typed his message. His thumb hovered over the send button pathetically. Why was he so nervous? 

He squeezed his eyes tight, pulling the trigger before he had a chance to stop himself. One eye popped open slowly, then the other.

**_11:58am Yunho:_ **Hey San! It’s Yunho. I really enjoyed our time last night. When can I see you again?

Yeah. That was good, albeit excruciatingly normal. There was nothing about that text that screamed fun or exciting, let alone second-date material. Well, at least he hadn’t completely embarrassed himself. 

Yunho’s breath caught in his throat as he saw the three dots from hell arrive on the screen. Who knew three dots could create so much anxiety, anyway?

He held his breath as the message came through. 

**_12:21pm San:_ **Me too!! How’s dinner next Friday sound?

Next Friday. Six days. That felt like an eternity from now, but also far too soon—Yunho still needed time to process the events of the last night, and his subsequently anything-but-heterosexual feelings. 

**_12:23pm Yunho:_ **Sounds great. 

**_12:26pm San:_ **Awesome! Pick you up at 7 :) 

Six days. Six days, and yet every nerve in his body stood on high alert. Six days, and yet a blush crept over his cheeks. Six days, and yet his mouth couldn’t help but form into a sheepish smile like a schoolboy with a crush. 

He cleared his throat and did his best to shake the idiotic look from his face as he stood up from the seat.

Six days.

\--

The following days of work at the shop crawled on as if they were an eternity. As he tended to a shelf of roses, his mind was occupied with thoughts of his impending date. Yunho’s internal clock ticked down the days, the hours, the minutes until 7pm Friday. He agonized over what to wear—something completely unfamiliar to him. Usually, he’d just throw on a light sweater, a nice pair of jeans, his usual pair of sneakers, and call it a day. 

But he knew San was likely to be dressed to impress—and he was feeling admittedly insecure about his lack of fashion taste. Perhaps San viewed Yunho’s simplistic style as intentional, maybe even chic. Although, truthfully, it was anything but. 

He spent an embarrassingly long time in front of the mirror Friday, accumulating a pile of sweaters on the floor like he was some sort of sweater-hoarder. Well, that wouldn’t be an entirely false assessment. 

Finally, he settled on a light button up underneath a thin, soft sweater and a pair of slacks. He fussed with his hair on the way out the door, doing whatever he could to distract himself from the nerves that crept in so sneakily—the same nerves he’d been battling all week, but cranked up to a thousand.

San stood on the steps outside his apartment. Yunho’s mind flickered back to his stairway kiss. The kiss that had him spiralling into a sort of panic all week. The kiss that had him questioning everything he thought he knew about himself. 

San looked, as expected, devastatingly handsome. He was dressed in all black again—this time, much more neatly. He abandoned the grunge style he had on during their last date, this time opting for a more put together look. He resembled a model who could have just stepped off the stage of a top designer’s runway. Hell, maybe San _was_ a model. That would explain a lot. 

Their arrival at the restaurant took Yunho by surprise. His breath caught in his throat as they approached the door, swinging it open to an unexpected atmosphere.

The place was much, much fancier than Yunho could have anticipated. He glanced down at his carefully picked outfit, which now looked entirely too informal. “You didn’t tell me this place was gonna be so nice,” he muttered under his breath as the hostess guided them to their seat, a nice table tucked away in the corner.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” San replied with a cheeky grin. God, those dimples could melt ice—and Yunho. “Don’t worry about your outfit. I think you look incredible.”

Yunho’s cheeks went unbearably hot. What gave San the right to be so charming, anyway?

As he browsed the menu, Yunho couldn’t help but sneak glances at his date across the table. His hair was styled neatly, revealing more of his face than he’d seen before. He hadn’t really had a chance to take in San’s appearance up close since they met at the flower shop—well, not sober, at least, and not for more than a fleeting minute. 

The waiter’s arrival at their table interrupted his shameless ogling. Yunho shifted in his seat, slightly embarrassed at the idea of the waiter noticing his slightly-too-obvious admiration of San. Though, San did look like he stepped right off a billboard. He looked like a prince, with the bone structure of a video game character. How was he real, anyway?

He shook the thoughts from his head, refocusing on the waiter awaiting his order. Yunho chose the salmon, and San opted for steak.

“Oh, and I’ll take a glass of Moscato,” San added, folding up his menu to hand the waiter. 

The waiter nodded, turning to Yunho. “And for you?”

Yunho chuckled, making fleeting eye contact with San. “Just water for me tonight. Thank you.”

“Probably for the best,” San teased as soon as the waiter left, eyes crinkling into sweet crescents. “We don’t want a repeat of last time.”

They made light conversation, waiting on their orders to come out. Yunho took every opportunity to admire San’s sharp features, looking on with both jealousy and appreciation. Yunho wasn’t gay (probably, he hadn’t quite decided where he stood) but San was the most beautiful guy—no, human—he’d ever seen.

The dishes looked incredible. How could San afford such a fancy place, anyway, fresh out of college like Yunho? He didn’t have much time to dwell on that thought now though, with the honey-glazed salmon glistening on his plate, calling his name like a song. As a minimum wage worker with an impressive stack of college debt, Yunho practically lived off of ramen, rice and anything cheap he could throw in his microwave or grab out of his snack cupboard. This was a luxury he couldn’t believe he was indulging in.

Yunho scraped at his plate, cleaning every last expensive morsel off like it was liquid gold. He didn’t want his time with San to end so quickly.

Yunho drummed up the courage to push the night further. “Maybe we could go back to your place after this? Mine is—”

“No!” San interrupted abruptly. His eyes widened as if embarrassed, and he quickly cleared his throat. “No, I mean… I thought we could go for a walk after this? I know a nice park nearby, along the river.”

“Oh, okay, sure,” Yunho agreed with a nod. “A walk sounds nice after all this food, anyway.”

At the end of the meal, San handled the check immediately, not even giving Yunho the opportunity to protest. 

What was it that San did, anyway? He must have a decently paying job to have paid for drinks and such a nice dinner without a second thought.

The park was walking distance from the restaurant. San had clearly planned the date down to the last detail. Yunho liked that. It was a calm park, lit dimly by the warm white light of street lamps guiding their path. 

They spoke as they walked, mostly on surface-level subjects, much like their first date at the bar the week before. It was somehow more awkward than their conversation over dinner, as if they were each trying to compensate for something, but Yunho couldn’t tell exactly what. The finer details of their conversation were quickly drowned out by Yunho’s nerves. He felt like the whole world was underwater—fuzzy and distant. 

His stomach churned, sloshing with the water he’d chugged as a nervous habit during dinner. His replies fell on autopilot as his brain refocused to every tiny movement he made. Was he standing too close? Too far? Was he walking too fast? Too slow? When was the last time he took a full breath?

Yunho suddenly felt San’s fingertips graze against his hand, throwing him back to reality with an alarming force. Wait, was San trying to—?

Yunho’s heart skipped a beat every time their hands brushed against each other’s. He couldn’t tell whether it was the rhythm of their gaits syncing up, or if San was purposefully making the move to touch his hand, but it was making Yunho’s head spin. 

Yunho’s hand moved without the aid of his head, finding San’s easily. His long fingers curled easily around San’s contrastingly small, delicate hand. He glanced over at San through his peripheral, immediately noting the small, restrained smile that twitched up on his lips. They walked like that for a while, Yunho’s hand cupped around Sans, before he found their fingers lacing together entirely. 

Yunho did his best to ignore how sweaty his palms felt. His nerves were spiked all the way up to ultra, knees practically buckling under him as he walked. He felt even less stable on his feet than he did when he was practically falling over drunk. In fact, he felt drunk all over again—but this time not in the alcohol way.

“Maybe we could sit for a bit? It’s a nice night,” Yunho suggested, gesturing towards a bench tucked away out of view of the path. It faced a small river, the one the park bordered. 

“Sounds nice,” San agreed. 

He tugged at Yunho’s hand where their fingers were still laced together, guiding him towards the bench. He loosened his grip as they approached, allowing Yunho’s fingers to slide out of his as he took a seat near the middle.

San took a seat on the bench next to him, so close their thighs were practically grazing each other’s. Yunho watched the water for a minute, focusing on the gentle flow of the river to calm some of his nerves. The night was beautiful. A warm breeze nipped at his cheeks and rustled his hair. The night was silent except for the rustling of leaves in the trees and the light babbling of the river as it flowed. He could feel the heat of San’s gaze from his side, unwavering and intense. Yunho turned his head, meeting San’s eyes shyly. 

“God, you’re so cute, it's kind of driving me crazy,” San muttered under his breath, bringing a hand up to swipe his fingers through Yunho’s messily-styled hair. His face was inches from Yunho’s, eyes flickering noticeably to his lips and back up to his eyes. A thick blush painted Yunho’s cheeks as he sat, lips parted slightly, watching San’s every movement. Time seemed to move quickly and in slow motion all at once as San leaned in, doing his part to close the already minimal gap between them. 

Instinctually, Yunho leaned in to meet him. He felt the heat of his breath first, and then those soft lips that haunted him since their first date. They paused there for a moment, lips pressed firmly against each other’s. 

Butterflies fluttered to life inside Yunho's stomach, twisting it in knots. Fireworks seemed to erupt in his chest, sending energy through every inch of his body—his arms, his legs, through his fingertips. Was this the spark he’d been waiting for? Was this what it was supposed to feel like?

San pulled back for a moment, eyebrows pinching together slightly, eyes still trained on Yunho’s lips. “Was it okay that I—?”  
  
Yunho wouldn’t let him finish, pushing his lips back against San’s in response. Yunho’s hand rested on San’s thigh, fingers unconsciously tightening around it as San reciprocated against him.

Their lips created a natural push-pull rhythm—Yunho had never had a kiss fit together so naturally before. There was nothing forced or awkward about the way their lips met. It was like they’d done this before, a million times. It was effortless.

San’s fingers laced through Yunho’s hair, tugging lightly at the tousled blue strands. With every kiss Yunho fell into him more, squeezing at San’s thigh harder as he leaned his body in closer. His other hand found itself grasping at San’s shirt, pulling at the thin fabric. 

Small moans escaped from San’s lips through heavy breaths, tiny muffled “mm”s that made Yunho’s skin seem to light on fire. Every nerve in his body reacted to the power of ten.

Yunho pulled back, giving himself a moment to breathe. His skin tingled and his heart drummed against his chest like it was going to tear itself out of his body. 

Did he just… make out with San? 

That was, without a doubt, the gayest thing he’d ever done. And he wanted to do it again. Like, right this second. 

As Yunho gazed up towards San, his heart dropped to his stomach. San’s face was contorted slightly, eyebrows pinched together, eyes wide with an emotion Yunho couldn’t place.

“W-what?” Yunho stammered softly. “Was I that bad? I-I’m sorry, that was my firs—”

“No! God no.” San’s hands returned to his sides, leaving the home they’d made against Yunho’s skin feel cold now. “It wasn’t that at all. I just—I should—I need to go.”

“Wait, San—” 

“I gotta go. I had a great time, I promise, I just really—”

San’s voice faltered, before breaking off entirely, leaving a thick wall of silence between them. Yunho’s face visibly shifted. He was sure he looked like an abandoned puppy, with those devastating eyes and that fatal pout. 

San stumbled up from the bench. “I gotta go.” 

Yunho rose to his feet reactively, but San was already nearly out of sight, escaping back through the walking path they’d just strayed from. He thought their night had gone amazing—hell, even San had said so as well, on their walk. Was it the kiss? Did San not want that? 

Did he not... like it? 

The once pleasantly cool breeze coming across the river now nipped at his skin in a way that was bothersome, almost mocking him. His hands balled into fists, remembering the way they clenched tightly around San’s delicate fingers, so small and warm and perfectly fit in Yunho’s. 

And so, San left him with the same lingering thought he had before: _What just happened?_


	3. rabbit-hole

Yunho hadn’t heard from San in three days.

He couldn’t be certain, but he was pretty sure he was being ghosted.

He hadn’t heard from him at all since the morning after their date, when he woke up to a text from San, sent late at night.

**_3:03am San:_ **I’m really sorry about what happened last night. You deserve an explanation, but I can’t give that to you right now. I’m sorry.

Yunho’s heart had sunk completely into the floorboards when he read it. He read and reread those words more times than he’d care to admit, each time his heart sinking further, squeezing tighter. 

He sent a few hopeless texts after that, yielding nothing but a harsh dose of silence from the other end, not even the three dots from hell to let him know San was still alive out there on the other side, somewhere, maybe perhaps even thinking about him. What the hell was he supposed to do with silence?

He kept his mind busy at the shop, thankfully, with plenty of flowers that relied on him for love and care. It was all he had now—truthfully, the flowers were all Yunho had ever had. He was perfectly content being alone, solitary, dedicated to his work—that is, until he met San. 

Nevertheless, his flowers couldn't kiss him and then run away without any explanation. His flowers couldn’t leave him trembling by the phone, waiting desperately for it to vibrate and alert him of a message. His flowers didn’t make him question everything about his sexuality, only to disappear off the face of the earth. His flowers would never do that. And he didn’t think San could, either. Clearly, he wasn’t the best judge of character. 

His mind was a mess. It seemed like every hour, on the hour, his feeling about the situation would turn on a dime. His heart had never been so volatile. 

Even with the distractions, he couldn’t help but wait for the buzz of his phone, the screen to light up with San’s name displaying a message—God, any message—from him. Even if it was a flat out rejection. Even if San said he never wanted to see Yunho’s face again. Anything would be better than this silence, this emptiness. 

On the fourth day, he gave up entirely. Not even Mingi had said a word to him—not that they texted often. Maybe he didn’t even know what was going on. He spent the day in a quiet haze, doing anything and everything to keep his mind from wandering to images of San in his mind. The longer he went, the longer San’s features went fuzzy in his memory. The more he started to forget the taste of him against his lips—sweet and rich. _Shit._ This wasn’t working. 

The nights were the hardest, when his mind had nothing else to do but wander. He prepared himself for a long night of overthinking. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror as he washed his face, splashing harsh bursts of cold water onto his skin. 

He admired his features with no particular positivity, scrutinizing every inch. He knew he was attractive, sure, but was he the kind of guy that guys liked? No, that wasn’t important. Was he the kind of guy _San_ liked?

He thrust his toothbrush in his mouth, watching himself in the mirror as he brushed with little enthusiasm. He just wanted to get to sleep. 

_Buzz._

Yunho’s head whipped around to the source of the sound, his bedroom. Did he imagine it? It was probably nothing. Maybe it was Mingi. No, Mingi never texted at night—he was always at work. Maybe it was his mom. 

He couldn’t even wait to get the toothbrush out of his mouth before practically running towards the room, retrieving his phone from his nightstand as if he were expecting a call telling him he’d just won the lottery. 

He had. 

**_10:56pm San:_ **I’m sorry I haven’t been responding, I’ve been really busy... 

Yunho’s heart flipped and danced in his chest, lighting every nerve on fire with anxious energy.

How the hell was he supposed to respond to this? “It’s okay, I’ve only been dying for the past 4 days trying to figure out what I did wrong?” He had pretty much nothing to lose, at this point, but he opted for something less accusatory. He just wanted to see him again, to get some sort of explanation. 

**_11:00pm Yunho:_ **Make it up to me over coffee tomorrow?

As he pressed the send button, his heart sank. He was only setting himself up for rejection like this. How could he be so forward after being ignored for days on end? There was no undoing it now, though. 

Yunho set his phone face down on his bed before heading back to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth, doing his best to distract himself from the anxiety of awaiting a response. Yunho suddenly remembered why he didn’t date—not only because he just wasn’t that interested in any of the girls he’d met, but also because of the turmoil of emotions dating brought on. Being alone was much simpler. 

But that was all before he’d met San, who had turned his life on its head. Who made him realize the true meaning of the word “crush”. Who tore his heart out and pieced it together just as easily in just a few weeks. 

**_11:12pm San:_ **Okay

It was blunt, emotionless, but Yunho didn’t care. He could see him again, and that was all that mattered. 

They set a time and place. Yunho suggested the same cafe he’d visited with Mingi after their first date. San agreed unenthusiastically, settling on 10:30am the next morning. Yunho didn’t have work, but if he did, he would have almost certainly called out of his shift. He couldn't wait another day.

\--

“A bit overdressed for coffee,” San teased as he greeted Yunho in the coffee shop. “You really do make anything look good, though.” 

A compliment. Thank god. This was already going better than Yunho expected. 

Sure, he may have been overdressed for a cup of coffee, but he couldn’t afford to slack off on his appearance now. He dressed even more intentionally than he had for their fancy dinner out—not that Yunho even knew they were going to a place so fancy to begin with. He’d even lost some sleep picking out his outfit carefully to match the soft, vintage aesthetic of the cafe, opting for muted neutral colors, contrasted against his cotton-candy-blue hair. 

San looked, as usual, jaw-droppingly stunning—even more so than Yunho remembered. He wore a chic plaid button down over a white t-shirt. He styled it tucked into a pair of black jeans with a belt, accentuating his waist so nicely that Yunho had to consciously remind himself not to drool. How was it even fair for someone to be built like that? A silver chain earring dangled from his ear. He looked so nice in jewelry, too, it almost wasn’t fair. Yunho’s eyes focused on San’s face now, particularly his lips, which looked soft and supple, shiny from a fresh coat of chapstick. He wondered which flavor of chapstick San wore. He wondered how easily he could find out for himself. 

“Y-you look…” Yunho searched for the right words, but truthfully, there were none to describe San’s beauty. “...incredible.”

“Really?” San glanced down at his outfit humbly. “I tried to keep it casual today.”

“No, you look amazing,” Yunho persisted. “Your body…”

Shit. A thick blush crept up on Yunho’s face, stinging in his cheeks. Your _body_? Why the hell did he say that? He gazed up at San, whose face was painted with a similar blush, a smile creeping up on his pretty lips. 

“My body?” San prompted, raising an eyebrow. 

“I mean—you just look nice. The outfit… it’s flattering.”

San chuckled, shaking his head playfully. “God, how am I supposed to handle you? You’re too cute.” A pause, then a nod towards the ordering counter. “Maybe we should get our coffee now.”

Yunho did his best to shake the embarrassed look from his face. “Right.”

San paid for both of their coffees, credit card readied in hand without giving Yunho an opportunity to protest. One payment was sweet, two was generous, but three? What the hell did he do for work anyway? Was it rude to ask after he’d just paid? 

“You know, you don’t always have to pay,” Yunho said as San took the receipt from the barista behind the counter. They stepped aside to the order counter, and San poised himself against the edge.

“It’s fine, really. I don’t mind.”

“What is it you do for work, anyways? You probably told me while I was drunk and I just forgot, right?” Yunho flashed an abashed grin accompanied by an awkward chuckle. 

“I-um… well, I work in entertainment, I guess… it doesn’t really matter.”

“I knew you were a model!” Yunho exclaimed smugly, proud of his sharp deduction skills. 

San only laughed nervously in response, retrieving the coffee cups from the order counter. 

“So, where should we sit?” San asked.

“Oh well, actually, I already picked out a table.” Yunho gestured to a table in the corner. In the middle, a small, neatly arranged bouquet stood up proudly, awaiting San’s arrival. 

San’s breath caught in his throat visibly as he swallowed. “I-is that for me? You… you shouldn’t have, Yunho.”

“It’s nothing,” Yunho reassured with a soft smile. “I enjoyed putting it together for you. It’s what I’m best at, after all.”

San made his way over slowly, still balancing both coffee cups in his hands. He set them down to admire Yunho’s handiwork. 

“Yunho, you shouldn’t. After what I—”

“We don’t have to talk about that. It’s okay. I just thought it’d be a nice surprise. It’s pretty, right?”

“God, yes. It’s really beautiful. When did you even have time to…?” His voice trailed off as he gazed at the bouquet in awe. 

“I got up early to go to the shop. It was no bother, really.”

“I can’t believe you went in on your day off for me.”

Yunho beamed brightly in response, eyes sparkling with an emotion that could only be described as enchantment. 

“Come on, our coffee’s going to go cold.”

“Mine’s iced,” San stated matter-of-factly. 

“Well, it’s going to melt!” 

Yunho swung himself around the table, taking a seat on the other side. 

They sat for a while, far longer than it should have taken them to finish their small coffees. Yunho sipped the last few drops slowly, savoring not only the beverage, but his time with San. 

The conversation gradually came to a lull, and Yunho sensed San pulling away. San fiddled restlessly with his plastic cup, swirling the straw in the lid, rattling the nearly-melted ice cubes.

Yunho didn’t want him to go. Their date was only coffee, but maybe if he could just get him to stay a bit longer.

“We could go back to my place later, if you want. I cleaned it up just for…” Yunho’s voice faded as he examined the expression on San’s face. It was the same as at the park, after their kiss. 

San stood up, pushing his chair into the table. “Yunho, I should get going. I had a really nice time though.”

“At least take your bouquet,” Yunho said, offering it to San, who took the base in his hands hesitantly. His eyes dropped to the array of multi-colored roses, arranged in a beautiful sunset pattern. His face grew sadder, more distant.

“I’m—I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore,” San said, dropping his gaze further until his eyes were practically boring holes through the ground. 

_No…_

“What do you mean?”

_Don’t say it..._

“I don’t think I can see you anymore.”

“What?” Yunho’s voice cracked.

_Don’t…_

_“_ I’m sorry Yunho…”

_Please don’t..._

“San...” Yunho’s eyes welled with tears, sparkling in the soft light of the cafe. “Can you at least tell me what I did wrong?”

“You—you didn’t. You didn’t. I just—I’m not good for you, Yunho. Really. I just can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

_Please…_

“If there’s anything I can—”

San’s voice went quiet, wavering slightly as he choked out his words. “Try to forget about me.”

That was the last thing Yunho heard from his lips. San handed the bouquet back to Yunho, who received it reflexively.

And just like that, he was gone, out the door, like a ghost. Yunho’s heart ached, it burned, it collapsed in on itself. It was only a crush, and yet it felt like so much more. San was a revelation, a burning feeling within him. San lit a fire under him, one that wouldn’t be extinguished with just the exchange of a few words of goodbye. 

His hand fell to his side, letting the bouquet slip from his fingers. It met the ground with a thud, disturbing the petals as the roses scattered across the cafe tile. 

\--

He needed stress relief. He needed distraction. God, he needed it bad. His heart ached, and his mind wouldn’t stop churning for the life of him, feeding him images of San on a closed feedback loop. _He needed something._ Anything.

He needed porn.

Yunho settled in bed, flipping open his laptop. His fingers navigated the keys expertly, typing in the name of his usual porn site as if on autopilot. 

He may have been the picture of innocence in the eyes of those who knew him—and it’s true, he was innocent in most senses. Sheltered, one might say. But it wasn’t like he never looked at porn. He was a guy, after all. One who didn’t get much action—but not for lack of options. He had been introduced to it early, like most of his friends, who gathered around the schoolyard giggling and discussing the latest video they watched. 

Yunho enjoyed it for the reason most guys his age enjoyed it—he was horny, and it was a release. But truthfully, he felt nothing from it, most of the time. 

As he browsed the genres carefully, one seemed to catch his eye, taunting him. 

No. He wasn’t gay. But it couldn’t hurt to just look around a bit, right?

He clicked in, browsing the videos. His heart drummed ruthlessly against his chest. He clicked on a few videos, scrubbing through the endless catalog of dicks upon dicks—a neverending cesspool of masculinity. Yunho found himself down a rabbit hole, clicking and clicking through videos of men in every conceivable position. 

But he wasn’t paying attention to the men. He was only thinking of San. What San’s body must look like, under those model clothes. What his dick might look like. How it might feel in the palm of his hand. How it might taste against his tongue...

Yunho couldn’t believe himself. How could he think of such things, when all they’d done was kiss? How could he imagine San naked, when San didn't want anything to do with him?

But he couldn’t tear himself away, no matter how hard his mind objected. Not that there was anything wrong with gay porn. There was, however, something wrong—no, pathetic—about fantasizing about the dick of a man he’d only really gone out with twice, and who basically dumped him. A month ago, he wouldn’t have been thinking about dick _at all_.

Nevertheless, his eyes were glued to the screen, fascinated by a world of lewdness he had never even considered. His dick ached in his jeans, throbbing against the fabric. In all his curiosity, all his thoughts about San, he hadn’t even remembered to touch himself. 

Denying his gay thoughts was getting harder and harder, much like his dick was. He pulled down his jeans and underwear to let his aching cock breathe finally, cupping it in his hand finally as he searched quickly for a suitable video. Any video would do. 

Ah—shit. He misclicked. 

A wall of webcam videos flooded his browser screen. 

Yunho’s eyes immediately focused on the highlighted video at the top, advertising “Today’s Top Cam Stream”. A man sat on a plush pink rug, surrounded by the aesthetically pleasing glow of twinkling LED lights. His knees dug into the soft material, knelt down in a particularly vulnerable position. Positioned upright on the rug: an intimidatingly large silicone dildo, slick and shiny with lube. The man lowered himself down slowly, sinking onto the dildo in until he was flush with the carpet.

Yunho hadn’t meant to end up here, but he had to admit, he was intrigued. He clicked into the stream quickly, shifting on his bed to get comfortable.

The man’s hands wrapped slowly around his dick, putting on quite a show. He worked his delicate hand up and down his shaft, simultaneously bouncing on the upright dildo buried inside him. 

Something about watching the man on camera stroke himself turned Yunho on in a way he couldn’t describe. Yunho followed his rhythm, letting his hand move slowly up and down his own cock, which throbbed and ached for a release. The man on the camera let out a soft moan—wait, that sounded like—

The man tilted his head back, eliciting the most exquisite moan Yunho had ever heard. Yunho’s rhythm quickened. Wait—that jawline—

His eyes widened, processing his realization slowly. He nearly choked on his own saliva, breaking into a harsh cough. 

_San?_


	4. cat-like

This fucking cafe. 

It haunted Yunho. But, it was the nicest coffee shop in town, and also the most private. It was without a doubt the best place to talk with Mingi about his guy problems, besides just being conveniently located for both of them. But he couldn’t shake that residual feeling of rejection fully every time he glanced around the cafe. The air felt tight and suffocating around the table he had sat at with San.

He took his time settling into his seat, this time on the complete opposite corner from his usual spot. 

Mingi assumed the spot across from him, sliding into the bench against the wall, coffee in hand. Yunho opted for tea this time. He was anxious enough as it was without all the coffee jitters shaking his stomach into knots. Not that it really helped.

They talked casually for a while, as Yunho expertly avoided any talk about San. There was no point though—both of them knew what they were here for, and it certainly wasn’t a casual chat over coffee. As their small talk dwindled, Yunho worked up the courage to bring up what he really wanted to talk about—San.

Yunho cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, uh... I wanted to ask you something…”

Mingi smiled gently. “Of course. Anything.”

“San…” Yunho trailed off at the mention of his name. The word stung in his throat, hanging heavy over his head. “Is he—is he doing okay? Has he said anything to you at all?”

“I’m not sure, honestly. He hasn’t been answering my texts recently.” He paused, glancing up in thought, then back to Yunho. “Wait, why? Did something happen?”

“He-he broke up with me.”

“What?” 

“Yeah…"

Mingi’s eyes widened as he set down his coffee cup against the wood table dramatically. “Wait, you guys were dating? Like _dating_ dating?”

“Well, I mean, not officially… we went on 3 dates, but at the end of the third…” Yunho swallowed hard, hesitating on the end of his sentence. “...he told me he couldn’t see me anymore.”

Mingi went silent for a moment. “Hm… it seemed like something had been off with him recently.”

“Can you—do you think you could maybe check on him?”

“I’ve been trying, but he won’t answer me.” Mingi paused for a moment, drumming his fingers against the table. “And to be honest, I don’t know his address. I think he moved recently. So it’s not like I could just go knock at his door.”

More silence as Mingi gazed past Yunho, gears visibly turning in his head. 

“It just doesn’t make any sense…” Mingi said finally.

“What doesn’t?”

“Why he would break things off with you. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“W-Why not?”

“He really, really liked you, Yunho. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that in front of a guy before. And we know some really, _really_ good looking guys.”

His mind brushed right past the first part of Mingi’s statement, narrowing in on the latter half. Yunho’s heart stung at the idea of San around other guys. Especially attractive ones. He lowered his eyes, unresponsive.

“Seriously, it just doesn’t make sense,” Mingi continued, ignoring Yunho’s pained expression. “Actually, you know, he talked to me about you all the time.” He fumbled his hand in his pocket, digging out his phone. “Here, I even have some of his texts.”

San… texted Mingi about him?

Mingi slid the phone across the table. “Go ahead, look through. Don’t tell him I showed you this, though. Like, ever. I think he’d have my head.”

Tell him? Yeah, right. San probably never wanted to see him again, let alone hear from him.

His eyes scanned the texts, heart racing as he read each and every one carefully. 

_God, he’s so adorable. I can’t stop thinking about him, it’s driving me crazy._

_He works at a flower shop?!?! ugghhhhh that’s the cutest shit this isn’t okay_

_Do you think he likes me?? Idk I just get so nervous around him, like he’s really really cute_

_Mingi!!!!! We kissed last night in the park!!!!_

Wait—San told Mingi about the kiss? He didn’t mention anything about running away… about ghosting him. Why did his actions contradict his words?

There were countless others, all following the same general theme. It seemed San was just as enamored with Yunho as Yunho was for him. So then why…

“You see what I mean, right?” Mingi asked as Yunho slid the phone back. 

Yunho’s mind was a mess. This whole thing was giving him a serious case of whiplash. San’s texts to Mingi seemed to directly contradict how he was with Yunho… was it all a lie? What was the real San, anyway?

Well, apparently, the real San was a camboy. 

“ _San_ texted you these?”

“Duh. Who else would have?”

“I don’t know. Those don’t seem like him at all.”

“Maybe he was toning it down for you?” Mingi suggested. “You know, so he didn’t scare you off or something? He really seemed like he didn’t want to blow it with you. That’s why it’s just so weird that he’d reject you like that.”

_Toning it down for him._

Toning down… everything. Including his job. 

_His job._

“Look,” Mingi continued, noting Yunho’s contemplative silence. “I’ve known San for a long time, and it’s really rare he doesn’t respond to me. The only other time I can think of was when his grandpa died, and he went dark on me for like a week. This must be seriously hurting him.”

Hurting him. Yunho didn’t want San to hurt, although he would be lying to himself if he didn’t feel slightly vengeful towards him at times for how badly San broke his heart. Even so, he couldn’t be hurting _that_ much if he was still feeling good enough to swallow a massive dildo in his ass for the world to see. 

_His job._

The pieces came together now so easily. 

The way he always changed the subject immediately when it came to his job, laughing nervously or playing it off as unimportant. The way he never talked about where he lived, or ever suggested going to his place. Hell, even Mingi said he didn’t have his address. 

He was ashamed about his job.

“Right…” Yunho said finally. He glanced at his phone suddenly. “I hate to do this to you, but I gotta go. Thanks for this. It really helped.”

“Oh—uh—sure,” Mingi stuttered. “Though I’m not really sure I was that much help. I’m just as confused as you are.”

“No, you were. I swear. Look, I have to run now, but text me later, okay?” Yunho gathered his things, scrambling out of his chair. 

“Okay.” Mingi smiled, eyes crinkling. “See ya.”

  
  


\--

Yunho was hopelessly addicted to San’s streams. 

He went so far as to make an account on the website he streamed on, and even followed San’s stream so he could be notified of his stream starting. Yunho never missed a stream—unless of course, he was at work. Thankfully, San’s daily stream schedule seemed to sync up nicely with Yunho’s work schedule. 

He’d settle into bed immediately after days at work, flipping open his laptop and waiting for the notification to alert him of San’s stream starting. His username flashed across the screen: Sunrise1117. His fans affectionately nicknamed him “Sunnie”, only one convenient letter off from his actual name. Yunho felt a certain amount of pride in knowing his true identity. 

To the rest of San’s fans—of which he had a surprising amount, who were particularly devoted to watching, commenting, even donating large chunks of money in exchange for a variety of requests—he was Sunnie: an elusive, pretty cam-boy far out of their reach. To Yunho, he was a mutual friend—one who he’d even gotten to kiss. God, the way his fans would die for a kiss with San.

Yunho didn’t know much about what cam workers did on their streams. Admittedly, he kind of expected San to come on, touch himself a bit, and leave. But it was _a lot_ more than that. Most of his stream was spent taking requests—he’d even done ASMR while seductively eating strawberries. 

The more he watched, the more he understood how San was able to so easily shell out the money to pay for an extravagant dinner out, or pay for his drinks without even a second thought. San’s fans were devoted, willing to empty their bank accounts just to watch San shake his ass in a maid outfit. Yunho didn’t have any complaints about that, though.

While he couldn’t afford to be making requests and donations left and right, as much as he wanted to, he did set up a profile, aliased under the name “flowerboy”. Was it subtle? Probably not. But it was unlikely San even gave the screen-names of his fans a second thought. He was drowning in them, after all. He was the Top Streamer of The Day, every day. 

He was ashamed to admit how many times he came during San’s streams, which were long and indulgent, sparing no expense to drive Yunho’s hormones wild. He’d never felt so horny—or lovestruck—in his life. 

He settled into bed, letting muscle memory take over to lead him straight to San’s domain.

San looked like an angel, skin glowing in the heavenly light of his warm-white LEDs. His lips were soft and shiny, hair tousled messily in a way that only made him hotter, somehow. As he stared into the camera, his eye contact was gentle but cat-like. It was like he was staring right at Yunho. 

San ran his hands through his locks, tilting his head up slightly to reveal the full effect of his sharp jawline. Yunho wanted to reach through the screen and kiss down his jawbone, peppering slow kisses down his neck, eating up San’s muffled moans. He allowed his fantasies to run wild in his mind as he watched San set up for his show, greeting all his fans in the chat. 

His attire was different every show, varying from bare naked to maid cosplay and everything in between. Today, he was dressed in a silky short-sleeve button down, the top three buttons already undone, exposing his chest. Drool pooled at Yunho’s lips. God, San looked hot. Like some sort of gay god made to tempt him and only him. Somehow, the half-buttoned shirt was even more enticing than seeing him completely shirtless—not that that didn’t make him horny, too. 

San tugged teasingly at his shirt collar, exposing his collarbone. Yunho imagined what it might be like to kiss it, nibbling at the skin, ripping the rest of those buttons off one by one…

“Welcome to the show, everyone,” San purred into the camera, voice deep and rich. 

He positioned his hand in his mouth, teasing his fingers around his lips playfully, eyebrow arched. He knew exactly what he was doing—how to put on a good show. His index finger slipped further in, and he clamped his lips down around, slowly easing it back out. 

Fuck, what was he doing? Was he trying to kill Yunho?

The chat was filled with adoring fans, sending an overwhelming slew of heart emojis, praise, sending request after request. And yet San drilled his focus in on the camera, sucking on his fingers slowly, one by one, easing them in and out. Yunho melted down into the bed, cock throbbing and aching for touch, but he wouldn’t dare yet. One touch and he’d probably lose it immediately. San’s grip on him was vice-tight. 

“Did you like that?” San asked into the camera. “Because I’m just getting warmed up today. A little pre-show, teaser, you could call it.”

Oh, Yunho was teased, alright.

San spent some time scrolling through the comments while ruthlessly teasing his audience with a drawn out strip-show. The chat was going wild, begging for more. 

He tilted the camera down finally towards his lower half, revealing a pair of lacy thigh highs he was wearing on his legs. If Yunho’s dick had a heart, it would have skipped a beat, or better yet, stopped entirely. It awakened something in him, something he never knew he wanted, or needed. But he _needed_ it. 

San palmed at his dick, awakening it fully until it stood at attention. His hand worked around it delicately. Yunho followed his lead, finally moving his own hand to his aching cock. He was determined not to cum immediately. San was clearly trying to make that difficult, whether he knew it or not. 

San moaned and whined into the microphone, lighting Yunho’s every nerve on fire. What he would give to have San make those noises in his ear. He would give _anything._

His hand pumped up and down his shaft, and the moans that spilled over his lips and through Yunho’s computer screen had Yunho’s brain nearly short-circuiting. When San had worked himself up enough, he repositioned himself, facing his ass to the camera. His thigh highs were on full display in this position, face pressed firmly into his plush pink rug. His hand snaked around, holding a large silicone dildo. He worked his fingers in first, teasing them in and out slowly, before pushing the toy inside of him. 

The view drove Yunho insane. He could almost imagine it was his dick instead of the dildo, pumping in and out of him, drawing those sweet, whimpering moans from his lips. San was so vulnerable, so submissive. He wouldn’t consider himself dominant—not in a million years. Sexually, he was more passive, at least in his prior encounters. But his prior encounters never included _San,_ whining on his knees for him, begging for more. Yunho had to wipe the drool from his lips before it dribbled down his chin. He was torturing himself. 

He quickened his hands pace against his cock, moving it in the same rhythm as San pushed the dildo in and out with. At some point, Yunho closed his eyes, opting to replace the visuals—however tempting they were—with San’s pleasured noises, his moans of satisfaction, his whiny curses, imagining him praising Yunho for how good he felt.  
  
He peeked his eyes open to San grasping his free hand around his dick. That was enough. Pleasure erupted in Yunho’s core, cascading through his limbs and finally, to his cock. Beautiful, showy moans spilled over San’s lips as he came, too.

And it was over. What a show. 

He hadn’t been brave enough to type anything in to chat this time. Next time, he told himself. Tomorrow for sure.

\--

San was trying to kill him. 

His tongue slowly worked over a dildo, covering every inch in saliva. He swiped his tongue over it masterfully, making exaggerated eye contact with the camera as he did so. Yunho imagined what his tongue might feel like against his cock, swirling and lapping at it enthusiastically. He was ashamed to admit, but Yunho had never actually had a blowjob before. None of the girls he was with had ever offered, and he was far too passive to ever outright request it. God, San’s tongue must feel amazing. Soft, wet, warm.

San switched positions now, grasping the silicon dick in both palms. He took the tip in his mouth, wrapping his lips around it firmly. He slowly worked his mouth up and down, sucking and pumping like it was his full time job. Well, it kind of was. 

After a good few minutes of drawn out sucking, San emerged breathless, panting. Sweat dripped down his forehead visibly. Fuck, he looked _hot_. 

“Any requests today?” San mused, scrolling through the chat. “I’m feeling _uninspired_.”

This was Yunho’s chance.

He’d been saving up money in his account to donate for the last week, sacrificing all real food for ramen instead. He pushed a donation through as he typed in chat. 

**_[ flowerboy ]_ **

can you dress like a cat for me? 

“Looks like we have a request and a donation from ‘flowerboy’,” San announced, scrolling through chat. “Hm… cat ears huh? You want me to be your filthy little catboy?” He smirked, flashing those devastating dimples. His gaze trained on the camera with those fittingly cat-like eyes. “Anything for you, my master.”

San speaking directly to him gave Yunho the best kind of chills, and his aura of confident submissiveness made his head spin. He couldn’t believe it—San in the palm of his hand, putting on cat ears for him. Of course, he didn’t know it was Yunho he was doing this for. But that didn’t make it any less exciting. 

San disappeared off screen for a minute, re-emerging in a headband adorned with pretty white cat ears, complete with pink bows in the crook of each ear. On his body—a tightly fitted pink maid apron. Yunho could hardly take it. San’s small hand curled into a paw shape. He drew his tongue across it playfully, lapping at the skin in his most cat-like way. His eyes stared teasingly into the camera, nearly piercing through Yunho’s soul, straight to his dick. 

“Is this what you wanted, meow?” San purred. “Or did you perhaps want more, meow?”

Yunho was going to suffer an aneurysm at this rate. 

San stood up and turned around, facing his ass toward the camera. A fuzzy white tail emerged from underneath his skimpy pink maid skirt. He lifted it, revealing where the tail connected to him with a buttplug. 

He wiggled his butt, letting the tail swish back and forth. 

Yunho’s hand tightened around his shaft, gently stroking up and down as San showed off, shaking his tail at the camera, posing and meowing. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he’d ever see something like this, god forbid _feel this way_ about it. 

**_[ flowerboy ]_ **

sannie, you’re so sexy…

Fuck—did he type Sannie? He meant to type Sunnie, San’s screen name, but it just slipped out. Maybe San would just think it was a typo. 

San’s eyes widened as he surveyed the chat. It was just a typo—but Yunho’s username wasn’t exactly subtle either. He tried to correct his mistake, but it was too late.

San scrambled forward, reaching his hand out and covering the webcam quickly.

_Stream disconnected_


	5. rose-red

__

_Stream disconnected_

Oh god, this was bad. This was really, really bad. His phone buzzed at his side.

 ** _9:24pm San:_ **We need to talk. 

Wait. Was it bad? This is what Yunho wanted. He wanted San to talk to him. He wanted him to contact him.

But not like this. Not being caught snooping on San’s streams. Not being caught requesting San to shake his ass in cat ears and a tail. He barely knew him. He probably came off as a total creep—and, well, he kind of was. 

But San’s streams were public, and he found them purely by accident. He had the right, just as much as any other one of San’s fans, to watch his streams. 

**_9:25pm Yunho:_ ** Okay.

That was all he could think to say.

 **_9:36pm San:_ **Like, right now. 

Right now? I mean, I guess San knew as well as he did that Yunho wasn’t doing anything of importance right now.

 **_9:37pm San:_ **Meet me at the park bench. You know which one.

  
\--

Yunho would have preferred a bit of small talk when they met, considering he hadn’t seen San in weeks, but San didn’t waste any time with casualties. 

“So what do you know?” San asked bluntly, a serious expression painting his usually warm, friendly face.

“About… what?” Yunho asked apprehensively. He didn’t want to give himself away too soon, although he was pretty sure he’d already been caught red-handed.

“My job.”

Yeah, he knew. “Oh… uh, I—” 

“Flower boy, right?” 

Yunho gulped. His expression said everything words couldn’t. 

“I thought so.”

Yunho paused. He felt his hand trembling against his leg. “Are you mad?”

He left a few beats before responding, but his brief silence was deafening. “Mad? No. Mostly embarrassed. You know, it’s a streamer’s worst nightmare to get found by people they know.”

“I’m sorry…” Yunho responded quietly. It was all he could think to say.

“It’s okay. I mean, I guess that means it’s all out in the open now, huh?” San said with an awkward chuckle, rubbing his palm nervously along the back of his neck. “So, uh… your request.”

Yunho cringed internally at the thought of San knowing it was him requesting the cat ears. “Yeah?”

“Why? I mean, you donated and everything…”

“Why? Because, I guess—I thought it would be hot.”

“I can’t argue with that, I guess,” San hummed. 

He expected San to be more mad, or to chew him out somehow. But he was surprisingly calm. What was also strange to Yunho was that he didn't acknowledge anything about the last time they met, or how San had been ghosting him for weeks. He felt he deserved an explanation, but it didn't feel like the right time to talk about that now.

A breeze rolled through, rustling Yunho’s already-messy hair. He wasn’t expecting to go anywhere today except his bed. He barely even brushed it. He probably should have brought a coat, too. It was colder, and quite a bit windier, than he anticipated. 

San’s eyes followed Yunho as he did his best to hide his shivering, to no avail.

“It is getting a bit chilly out,” San noted finally. “Maybe we should head back to my place.”

“Wait, your place?” Yunho paused for a moment, trying to let his brain process San’s suggestion, just in case he misheard. “For real?”

“Yeah, I mean, I guess there’s no harm in showing you my apartment now. You already know what half of it looks like, after all.”

\--

It was just a normal apartment, so why did Yunho feel like he was walking into the place of some celebrity? Like he was committing some type of crime, and was about to get kicked out for trespassing?

He stepped in the door, discarding his shoes on the shoe rack just inside the entrance. 

Despite San’s impressive income, it was far more humble than he imagined it to be. San must have noticed the look on Yunho’s face as he surveyed the small apartment, which looked to be about the same size as his. 

“What, not what you expected?"

“N-no, I guess I just assumed it’d be—”

“Bigger?”

Yunho let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I guess I prefer to spend my money on experiences, not things. I’m just one guy after all, and since I hardly have people over, I don’t really feel a need to live somewhere impressive.”

The apartment may have been small, but it was carefully decorated. Like his taste for fashion, his taste for interior design was impeccable. 

San headed in the direction of what Yunho could only assume was the door to his bedroom—there were only two doors, after all, and one was the bathroom. He swung the door open to reveal his room, softly glowing in the light of pink and purple LED lights. Warm fairy lights twinkled beneath the pink curtains on the window.

Yunho stepped in slowly, again feeling like he was trespassing. He felt like a fanboy getting a tour of his favorite idol’s dressing room or something. 

Yunho took a seat at the edge of San’s bed, glancing around at the room in a state of complete awe. He felt as though he knew it inside out, from the streams. The pink rug, the wall of suggestive cosplay, the overwhelming array of colored LEDs lining every conceivable surface. 

“I suppose you already know what this room looks like, huh?” San said with a nervous chuckle.

“Yeah…” Yunho said nervously. He was still slightly embarrassed about the fact that he watched San’s streams, like some sort of fanboy. He kind of was. “I like it, though.”

“Thanks. I put a lot of money and time into making it look so gaudy.” He laughed again, gesturing around. “But I hardly ever get to show it off outside of my streams.”

Yunho went quiet, entranced by the fact that he was in _San’s room._ The one he saw on his stream so many times, the one he fantasized about at night, and sometimes even during the day. His eyes focused on the pink rug, the one he daydreamed about fucking San on so many times. 

When he glanced back up, San had moved in front of him. Wait, what was he—

San swung his knee over Yunho's legs, hoisting himself up onto his lap. Oh god, it was happening. Yunho screamed at himself internally to stay calm, but he was anything but. His palms felt sweaty, and his knees would have buckled underneath him if he weren't sitting. 

San's fingers threaded through his hair, his other hand swung over Yunho's shoulder. He fit so nicely in his lap—he was tiny in comparison to Yunho's tall frame, but it worked. San paused for a moment in front of Yunho's face as he leaned in. His eyes were hooded and cat-like, glimmering in that same devastatingly charming way they did when he streamed. 

San shifted on his lap, digging in to rub against Yunho's crotch, the fabric of his jeans bulging out where his dick claimed its territory. And it was a _large_ territory. San leaned in further, allowing Yunho to taste his sweet breath just centimeters from his lips. 

San’s free hand tugged at Yunho’s sweater, prompting him to discard it over his head. Yunho obeyed without a second thought. 

Then his lips. Oh god, his lips. He tasted like strawberry chapstick, and his breath was warm and comforting. Yunho melted into the kiss, pressing forward against San. They stayed there for a moment, and it was like the world was frozen in time for a minute. Yunho pushed forward, setting the pace, and San reciprocated. Their kisses danced back and forth, gentle but heated, soft but sensual.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” San muttered breathlessly in between kisses. One of his hands moved from Yunho’s hair down to his chest, letting his fingers trace up and down Yunho’s skin, lightly every nerve ending on fire. 

San’s tongue ghosted across Yunho’s lower lip, then pushed into his mouth. 

It felt like a dream. Was he dreaming? Was he going to wake up making out with his pillow? He'd had this exact dream so many times before. He didn’t even care. If it _was_ a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

San’s fingers tightened in Yunho’s hair, whimpering against his mouth. San’s noises were enough to drive Yunho absolutely insane. 

San pulled back after a good few minutes of kissing. "Wait. Close your eyes, okay?" he requested. Yunho nodded in agreement. 

San scurried away for a moment, making a few rustling noises in the closet behind him. Yunho didn't dare peek—though the temptation was strong. 

“Okay, open.”

Yunho shuttered one eye open, then the other. “Holy… shit.”

“Y-you like it?” San stood in front of him, adorned in the same skimpy maid outfit and cat ears as before on his stream. “I just realized I never finished your request…”

Yunho’s jaw was hinged open like it was stuck. Drool pooled at the corners of his lips. What the hell was San doing to him?

“T-this is way… way better,” Yunho stuttered. San peered down at him with his hooded gaze.

“Flustered?” San teased, taking one step closer. 

Yunho gulped. His brain went totally fuzzy, unable to compute his current situation as reality. 

San threaded his fingers in Yunho’s hair, ruffling it slightly. “You’re so fucking cute.” 

When San sunk to his knees before him, his entire brain collapsed in on itself. Was this really happening?

San’s fingers went to work slowly removing his belt, taking his time with each movement like it wasn’t driving Yunho insane. 

“S-san.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve never done this before.”

“Holy shit, you’re a _virgin_?” San’s eyes went as wide as saucers, hands frozen on Yunho’s belt buckle. “God, Mingi said you were innocent, but I didn’t think—”

“No! No,” Yunho clarified quickly. “No, I mean, this—like, with a guy—and…”

“Well I knew that. But trust me, a blowjob from a guy is _so_ much better than with a girl.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Yunho muttered. 

“Oh my god. You’ve never had your dick sucked before?” San suppressed a chuckle, but one sputtered out anyway. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just adorable, that’s all. What am I gonna do with you?”

Yunho couldn’t muster a response. His cheeks went bright-hot. 

“I promise I’ll make your first one unforgettable then,” he added reassuringly. Then, with a playful flick of his wrist, forming his hand into a paw-shaped fist, “meow.”

Yunho would have chuckled, if he weren’t laser focused on San’s hands moving back to his crotch, unzipping his pants and unhooking the top button. Yunho helped San remove his pants entirely, shimmying until they pooled at his ankles, and finally kicking them across the floor. San’s hands were already at Yunho’s underwear, tugging at the seam. 

The massive bulge of Yunho’s cock was unmistakable now, and San spared no time releasing it from confinement. It sprung to life in front of him. 

“Holy shit,” San said, eye’s widening as he took it in. “You didn’t tell me you were _this massive.”_

A blush rose in Yunho’s cheeks. He knew he was well-endowed, but hearing it from San was an entirely different ballgame.

“It’s pretty, too. Fuck. Can I…?”

“P-please,” Yunho stuttered. He didn’t even know why San was asking—it was painfully obvious how badly Yunho craved San’s touch now. 

San’s hands came to the base, stroking softly at first to get a feel for his girth. He leaned in slowly, his breath hot against his skin. Yunho melted into the sheets, doing everything he could to keep his hips from bucking up into San’s mouth. 

San took a few apprehensive licks along the tip, swirling his tongue in delicate circles, then licking a stripe up from the base. Yunho did his best to stifle the moans that rolled through his throat and keep himself from squirming under San’s touch.

San positioned his lips over the tip, preparing to take Yunho’s length.

“San.”

San pulled away, glancing up at Yunho through wispy lashes. The sight was nearly unbearable—Yunho was having a hard time holding himself together to begin with. 

“Hmm?”

“Your camera.”

San cocked his head slightly. “What about it?”

“You could—you should turn it on.”

San laughed playfully in response, though his laughter quickly turned into an expression of shock as he watched Yunho’s face, who wasn’t laughing in the slightest. “You’re… serious.”

“I’m serious.”

San’s eyes widened before a mischievous grin grew on his face, his dimples making their appearance once again. “I underestimated you,” he said playfully, hoisting himself up to his feet to hook up the stream.

Yunho underestimated himself. His decision to turn the cam on was completely impulsive, and yet something was urging him to do it, to not back down.

“Just—don’t show my face, okay?”

San nodded, then gestured towards Yunho’s dick. “Okay, but I promise, but you know... they wouldn’t be looking at your _face_ anyway.” He hesitated for a moment before flicking the camera on, craving his head back towards Yunho for one last comment before they went live. “Follow my lead, okay? You're gonna do great. My safe word is purple, by the way.”

Safe word? He was just going to suck his dick, why would he need a—

San’s demeanor seemed to switch immediately as soon as the red webcam indicator turned on.

He addressed the camera first, staring into it with big, soft, kitten-like eyes. He positioned both hands, fingers curled lightly into fits, near his face in an exaggerated paw-like way. “Sorry for the interruption. Sunnie’s ready to get into some fun now, meow.” 

He only turned on the stream a minute ago, but Yunho could already make out hundreds if not thousands of viewers filtering in from his position on the bed. The chat-box was already flooded with comments, though he wasn’t close enough to read any of them. 

“I have my master here today,” San continued, reaching in his desk drawer as he spoke and rummaging around blindly. Yunho couldn’t quite tell what he pulled out until it was latching around San’s neck. A pink collar. Holy shit. “Sunnie’s going to take his cock like a good little kitty, meow.”

If Yunho weren’t on stream he would have nearly choked, but he managed to keep it together. It’s a good thing the stream couldn’t see his face, he supposed, because he probably looked like he just saw a ghost or something. What the hell did he get himself into?

San was still holding something in his hand. A chain? He reached up, clicking into the metal ring on the front of the collar “Sunnie’s going to obey master’s commands, meow.”

The third person made Yunho cringe slightly, but nevertheless, he was impressed—if not a bit terrified—by the ease in which San suddenly changed into this character. It was admittedly kind of uncomfortable to hear his voice so strained with enthusiasm—he imagined keeping up that persona was exhausting after a while. 

San began to crawl back over to him, swishing his fuzzy white tail plug at the camera for good measure. His collar jingled, and the chain rattled against the floor. Yunho’s eyes were wide as San assumed the position on his knees in front of him, gazing up at him with those soft, pleading eyes. Yunho’s dick was still rock-hard from their earlier session. Even though he was operating in a state of shock, it would have been a lie to say that seeing San like this didn’t make his cock twitch excitedly. 

Yunho took the chain in his hand apprehensively as San sat before him. He assumed that’s what San wanted him to do, anyway—he did tell Yunho to follow his lead, and he was pretty sure this was it. God, he was way out of his league here. 

This wasn’t going to be as straightforward as he thought. He should have known better, as a religious viewer of San’s streams, that nothing about him was _straightforward._ He always put on a show, no matter what. He was a master of his art—the top streamer, a professional. Though nothing was “professional” about the way he knelt submissively in front of Yunho, staring up at him with _those eyes_. Those fucking eyes that could melt him right into the bed. 

San began pawing lightly at his dick. Even the faintest touch drove Yunho insane—he needed more, now. 

“Please, can I, master?” San begged, sticking his tongue out submissively. “Sunnie’s been such a good boy today. Please?”

Before Yunho could react, San took Yunho’s free hand in his, pulling it towards his mouth. What was he—

He guided Yunho’s index finger against his bottom lip. San began licking Yunho's long finger all the way from the base with a lewd amount of saliva, coating every inch in thick wetness. 

Oh my god. Yunho was going to fucking _lose it_.

San continued, taking his index finger now fully inside his mouth. His lips formed a suction around Yunho’s finger. The wetness of his tongue gliding over Yunho’s skin had his cock twitching like mad, aching for a release. San released Yunho’s hand finally after what felt like hours—Yunho’s dick was growing increasingly impatient.

San prodded further at Yunho’s aching member, driving him absolutely crazy. He looked back up at Yunho, wide-eyed and innocent, eyes sparkling with desire. “Please, may I, master? Sunnie just wants to suck master’s cock.” 

He realized he was going to have to speak if this was going to work. The thought made him a bit anxious, though it was far too late for second thoughts now. He pulled his voice down an octave for good measure. 

“Y-yeah,” he stuttered. Shit. 

“Thank you, master. I promise I’ll be good, meow.”

San reached forward, taking a few kitten-licks around the tip, lapping at the precum that formed as he was setting up the scene. San’s eyes sparkled devastatingly, making direct eye contact with Yunho from below. He swirled his tongue lightly around the tip, letting small whines and moans roll through his throat. 

He took the base in his hands to steady himself over Yunho’s cock, which was so large in comparison to San’s small fingers, barely even overlapping each other as they clamped around him. 

The collar jingled almost comically as he sunk his mouth down around Yunho, barely even making it halfway before pulling back out. “You’re so big, master. I can barely take you, meow.”

Yunho was struck with an idea. He hoisted himself to his feet, still grasping San’s leash firmly in one hand. The other placed itself on the top of San’s head, patting lightly. “Good kitty,” he said finally, after mustering up the courage. His voice came out deeper than he expected, the lone tones resonating out in vibrations. 

San eased back in now, able to take him better at this angle. He teased around the tip again, this time with the full force of his tongue. It felt wet and warm against his cock, which now had its sensitivity levels cranked up to max. Every lick lit his nerves on fire, sending heat pooling through his abdomen. 

Yunho wouldn’t consider himself religious, but he was pretty sure he was going to hell after this. 

“Sunnie wants master to fuck his throat, meow.”

He wants Yunho to _what_? San’s hand found Yunho’s arm, the one placed on his head, gently guiding it to the back of his collar. “I want to choke on your cock, master.”

Yunho was the only one choking right now. His eyes went wide and San made eye contact, dead serious—though it was hard to take him seriously in that outfit and those ears. He wanted Yunho to… guide his head using the collar? 

Yunho nodded, indicating to San that he understood. San stuck his tongue out, awaiting Yunho’s next move. He positioned himself at San’s mouth, pressing the tip against San’s warm tongue. His mouth formed a perfect O-shape, prompting Yunho to push on the collar from behind, easing San back around him. Fuck, this felt amazing. He was free to set his own pace now. San bobbed back and forth at Yunho’s command, setting a nice rhythm with the collar as his guide. San moaned and whined around him.

He wasn’t sure what came over him, but he wanted more. Yunho jolted the leash, tugging San in further, prompting a harsh gag from San. Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes, sparkling softly in the glow of the LEDs. Shit. He didn’t want San to cry, but something about it had electricity flowing through his body. San choked and gagged, but Yunho didn’t let up his grip in the leash, tugging further. Finally, he eased up the tension on the chain, and San released his suction from Yunho’s cock with a “pop”. 

A lewd stream of saliva connected from San’s tongue to the tip of Yunho’s cock, which was spit-slick and shining. San looked so good Yunho could have lost it right then and there—San glowed in the soft light, skin shiny with a hint of sweat, lips cherry-red and swollen, eyes puffy and glistening with the beginning of tears. San must have been wearing some sort of eye makeup because black smudged around his eyes from tears and sweat. How was it possible for someone to look so disastrously hot while such a mess?

Yunho’s hand came up to stroke San’s hair. “That’s a good kitty.” 

San’s eyes glimmered mischieviously as he gazed up at Yunho with an encouraging look that said wordlessly _“Keep going”_. 

He beamed, nuzzling up into his hand. “I want master’s cum all over my face, meow. Please, I promise I’ll be good.” He stuck out his tongue exaggeratedly. “Please, master.”

Yunho tugged his leash forward again, prompting him to resume. It only took a few moments for Yunho to work himself up to the edge. He tugged the back of San’s collar, who released from him quickly, causing his collar to jingle at the sudden movement. Yunho only needed one stroke before the heat pooled to his stomach. His muscles lit on fire, brain reduced to mush as the climax hit him. 

San’s mouth was wide-open, tongue out and readied. Soft spurts of white cum painted San’s face, dribbling down his cheeks, chin, splattering across his tongue and lips. He looked incredible like that—fuck, the look on San’s face was almost enough for him to cum a second time, if that was even possible.

“Thank you, master,” San purred. His hand swiped across his face, collecting the thick liquid from his skin. “A good kitty always finishes his milk.” 

Yunho watched in wide-eyed awe as San lapped the cum off his fingers slowly, overemphasizing every tiny movement for the camera. Fuck, San was actually going to kill him at this rate. 

Then he did. “Can Sunnie touch himself? Pretty please master?”

_Oh my god._

A simple “yes” was all Yunho could muster in response. He was completely spent now, but somehow not entirely unhorny even after being drained of every last drop of cum inside him—in fact, he was still entirely horny, though his cock was spent. 

Yunho watched in awe as San gripped his own dick in his palm, twisting and stroking gently. Watching San, messy-faced and chin dripping with his cum on his knees in front of him, touching himself so desperately, was enough for Yunho’s knees to turn to jelly. He realized he still had San’s collar chain gripped in his hand so tightly it dug into his skin. Now was his chance. 

He tugged it up, forcing San’s eye contact even further upwards to meet his gaze. His free hand reached under San’s chin, gently scratching and stroking. “Pretty kitty,” Yunho mused. He was really getting into it now.

San whimpered below him as his pace around his dick increased. Yunho wished it was his hand—or better yet, his mouth—wrapped around San’s dick, eliciting those sweet moans from his lips, but this current sight was too good not to savor in entirety. 

“F-fuck,” San moaned, not once breaking eye contact with Yunho. “Please master, let me cum—p—please.”

Yunho had never seen San so unraveled before, not even on stream. He was a whining mess, and Yunho was having a similarly difficult time keeping himself composed in this position.

After taking a breath to compose himself, he gave the collar a tug for good measure, jolting San forward and eliciting a sharp yelp from his lips. “Okay, kitty. You’ve been good.” 

San gave himself a final pump, beautiful curses and whines spilling out from his lips as he let the orgasm consume him. He caught most of the cum in his hand, bringing it up his tongue, licking it clean from his fingers.

“Thank you for the treat, master.”

Yunho gave him a final pat on the head, then reached around to unhook San’s collar, which fell from his neck with a light jingle. “Good kitty.”

San moved himself over to the camera slowly, clicking the stream offline. His facial expression almost immediately returned to neutral as soon as the red light disappeared, as if he wasn’t just acting like a dirty catboy maid for the last however long. A warm grin pushed up his lips, eyes forming into soft crescents. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”

Yunho could barely muster a response. What was with San and giving him whiplash? 

“Hopefully I didn’t take it too far or anything. Sometimes I just get so caught up in the character, I guess. Guests on my stream are pretty rare, so I just wanted to put on a good show for my fans.”

“N-no, it wasn’t too far at all. I… I liked it. A lot, actually.”

“Good.” San smiled, grin beaming from ear to ear. He scrolled through the comments as they spoke. “Hey, Look at you. You’re so popular,” he said with a sly smile, tilting the screen in Yunho’s direction.

Yunho leaned in, scrolling the comments apprehensively at first. 

_omg who is he??_

_his dick is perfect_

_wtf, hes massive_

_more mystery guy!!_

_Sunnie didn’t tell us he had a new plaything_

_Show us his face!!!!_

A blush crept through his cheeks, staining them rose-red. It was a feeling he’d never felt before, and he couldn’t quite describe it. Being praised like this by strangers—he thought he would hate it, but it actually felt kind of incredible, almost like an adrenaline rush. What was this burning feeling in his chest?

He turned to San seriously. “Teach me.”

“What?”

“I want you to teach me. How to be a camboy.”


	6. fruity-sweet

Yunho had no idea how to be gay, although he quickly figured out that it pretty much entailed doing all the same things he usually did, but gay instead. So, pretty much what he usually did. 

He wondered why in all 24 years of his life, he was just now considering men a viable option for him. Although, he could imagine San having that kind of effect on other people, too—the kind that had people questioning their sexuality just by interacting with him. Yunho wondered if San knew his power. Probably, considering he got into sex work. 

It was hard to focus at work now. All his thoughts were clouded with a flurry of _Sansansan,_ down on his knees for him. San, knees digging into the cold ground, looking up with those pleading, begging eyes. San below him, submissive, breathless, just for him. 

How was he supposed to get through life with these images intruding every little corner of his mind, wedging their way in at every opportunity. 

As he tended to the roses, watered the displays, organized the flowers, San. As he took orders and arranged bouquets, it was all San. His schoolboy crush had morphed into an entire beast of its own, festering and growing inside him. Was this just what a normal crush was? He couldn’t tell. 

At any rate, he was dying to see San again.

It had only been a few days since seeing him last, but he was already itching anxiously for more—another dose, like some sort of drug addict. 

Then finally, _finally_ , his next hit.

_Buzz._

**_San 10:32am:_ **Why don’t you come over after your shift today? 

Thank god. 

**_Yunho 10:33am:_ ** I get off at 5. I’ll be there :) 

Was the emoji too much? No, it was probably best he didn’t overthink it.

 **_San 10:34am:_ ** Looking forward to it <3

Yunho’s breath caught in his throat. A heart? Dear god, he was whipped. His heart raced, thrumming against his chest. San’s grip on him was vice-tight. He had Yunho right in the palm of his hands, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. 

The next eight and a half hours were going to kill him.

\--

San buzzed him in, and he made his way through the apartment halls expertly, though he’d only been there once. He made a point to memorize where San’s apartment was the first time he’d visited. After a few knocks on the door, it opened to an unfamiliar face staring back at him. 

He was about the same height as San, with medium-length black hair that fell in careful wisps around his eyes, framing his face nicely. His bone structure was incredible, like he was crafted out of stone. 

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry, I must have the wrong—”

Before he could finish, San peeked his head into the doorway. “Yunho! Come in.” 

“Oh h-hey,” Yunho greeted nervously, struggling to keep himself from glancing at the mystery boy as he took a step through the door frame, letting it shut behind him.

San gestured between the two of them as the boy slipped his shoes on near the entryway. “Yunho, this is my best friend, Wooyoung. He’s just headed out.”

“Nice to meet you,” Yunho said, giving his best customer service face. These days, it was the only way he knew how to greet people. 

Wooyoung gave Yunho a glance up and down, a soft smirk playing up on his lips. “So this is the guy from your stream, huh? The one with the massive dick?” Yunho’s mouth dropped open reactively. “Good job, by the way. I watched the whole thing—it was great. Anyone ever tell you you have like, the perfect pornstar dick?”

San only laughed at his side, the kind of laugh that said _Yep, that’s Wooyoung alright_. 

Yunho couldn’t think of an adequate response to a stranger telling him he had a pornstar dick, so he let out an awkward chuckle instead—that was pretty much his M.O. nowadays anyway. Being around San always left him speechless one way or the other. It was starting to become a pattern.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it,” Wooyoung teased, shooting a playful wink in San’s direction. He slipped his shoes on, then planted a peck on San’s cheek. “Bye, babe.”

He slipped out the door quickly, latching it behind him with a _click_ .

...Babe? A kiss? Oh god, was Wooyoung—

Yunho went pale. His mouth felt dry suddenly, and his stomach dropped. “Are you guys… does he—”

“Wooyoung? Oh god, no. We’re just friends.” He must have noticed the look on Yunho’s face, because he continued. “Seriously, Wooyoung’s just touchy like that.”

“Ah…” Yunho trailed off, feeling a bit bad for implying anything different. “So is he also…?”

San suppressed a laugh. “Gay? Yeah. Most of my friends are. Except Mingi.” Shit. Yunho had a lot more to compete with than he thought. “Anyway, here, before I forget, I wanted to give you this.” 

He disappeared to the kitchen briefly, returning with an envelope in his hand, which Yunho retrieved hesitantly. “What’s this?” 

“A check.”

“A check? Like… money? San—”

“It’s half the donation revenue from our stream together. Just open it.”

He flipped open the envelope, slipping out the thin piece of paper to examine the contents. His eyes widened as he surveyed the check, eyes immediately gravitating to the numbers on the side. “Holy shit. This can’t be right. This is like, half my entire paycheck.”

He glanced up at San, who was flashing that charming smile, the one with the dimples, the one capable of reducing Yunho's mind to horny mush. “You earned it.”

San must have read his mind.

Before he could respond, he felt San's body against him first, then a hand coming to block him against the wall. The position was almost comical—San’s short stature boxing Yunho in, and yet the dynamic was undeniable—San held all the power, even if he had to get on his tiptoes to do it. There was a certain duality about San that made Yunho's head spin. His mind flashed images of San, begging on his knees, salty tears glistening around his eyes, begging Yunho to let him cum, then back here, holding him against the wall, that devastating smirk twitching up on the corner of his lips.

Yunho was sure there was a reason San had pinned him up against the wall, but all Yunho could focus on was his lips—dear god, those lips—and the way they sat, barely-parted, glistening with San’s strawberry chapstick, which he could smell from this close proximity.

His hand came up to San’s jaw—the deadly curve of that _fucking_ jaw—tracing the sharp edge of the bone with his index finger, swirling his thumb in soft circles along the edge of San’s cheek. He leaned down to press his lips with San’s with a substantial force, savoring the fruity-sweet taste he’d found himself daydreaming about since his first night with San.

His free hand found the small of San’s waist—how could his waist be so small, anyway?—pushing the hem of his shirt up to dig into the skin with blunt nails. Their lips connected for a bit, taking in each other’s taste, before forming a steady push-pull, steamy breaths and wanton hums filling the space around them. 

Yunho’s hand traveled down without even realizing, dragging along the seam of San’s black jeans, pushing down past the button, palming the bulge through the fabric. San melted into the kiss ass soon as Yunho’s hand found his dick, adding just enough pleasure to tease him. Yunho wasn’t sure what came over him, but San certainly wasn’t complaining if his needy whimpers were any indication.

San disconnected from the kiss for a moment. Then he was leaning in again, his strawberry lips pressed up against Yunho’s ear, breath ghosting over the sensitive skin on his neck. His voice was deep and sultry when he spoke. "What do you say we get started, hm? We have a lot of ground to cover." 

"G-get started?" Yunho stuttered.

"You're going to suck my dick."

Yunho sputtered, holding in a cough as he choked on air. San really needed to stop doing that. 

"You said you wanted to learn, right? Considering your… experience," he drew out the words carefully. "We'll be starting with the basics."

 _That_ was the basics? Yunho wasn't sure he was ready. Fantasizing was one thing, facing it head on was another. 

He felt San’s hand wrap around his forearm and pull, guiding him to the bedroom. Yunho’s nerves lit his whole chest on fire, erupting butterflies in the pit of his stomach. But at the same time, this was what he’d wanted for so long—a chance to touch San, to feel him, to taste him, to make him feel good. 

San took a seat on the edge of the bed in the same position Yunho had been a few nights before. His hands steadied on Yunho’s shoulders, nudging him down until he sunk to his knees, face right at dick-level.

San wasted no time. He slipped his pants off, then his underwear, revealing his cock, already hard from their heated makeout session. It sprung to life in front of Yunho.

_Oh my god._

He’d seen it before, so many times, and even in person, but never _like this._ He was able to get a good view of San's dick up close now. It looked perfect, almost airbrushed in texture, barely the slightest noticeable imperfection. Yunho could see it clearly now--San was built for porn in every way. Even his dick was unfairly flawless. His mouth watered reactively, and he had to consciously hold back the saliva from pooling at the corners of his lips.

He fumbled his hand around it, nervously stroking it with the faintest brush of his fingers. "What do I-" 

"Well stop doing that, for one," San teased. "Try gripping it firmly, like you would your own. You have one too, you know."

That was true, he did have his own, but it felt so entirely alien to touch another man's dick. It wasn't even comparable. 

"Just do what feels comfortable, and I promise it'll feel good, he added, studying the apprehension staining Yunho's expression. "You're not gonna be perfect on your first try. We'll go at your pace." 

"Are you sure? I've never… touched one that's not my own."

"Look, I've had some really bad blowjobs in my day. I promise, whatever you do, it can't be worse. Just no teeth, alright?" 

Yunho wrapped his large hands around the base apprehensively, trying his hardest to grip with confidence. His eyes flickered up to San as if to ask _Am I doing this right?_

An amused smirk twitched up on the edges of San's lips. "Nervous?" His hands threaded through Yunho's hair encouragingly. "Fuck, you're cute."

"Is this good? Should I grip tighter, or—"

San’s hand stroked slowly through Yunho’s hair, slipping his fingers through each strand in smooth motions. "Relax, baby. I'll guide you through it. Just do what feels right."

What felt right was that he wanted to taste it. He pulled his head closer, letting his breath form soft, nervous puffs around the head. His tongue pushed through his lips, taking his first apprehensive taste of the skin. It was more mild than he expected—slightly salty like sweat—but not unpleasant in the slightest. He took another lick, this time swirling around the precum that gathered at the tip, wetting it in his saliva. 

He listened for San’s small noises of appreciation, the mms and the whines and the soft whimpers, urging him to keep going. His fingers tightened their grip on the base, steading San’s cock as his tongue worked harder, pressing more firmly now. A whimper fell off San’s lips.

Yunho let the tip part his lips naturally before taking the head between them, taking his first uncertain motion of his mouth on San’s member. He sunk down, barely two inches, letting his lips form a suction around the skin, then pulled back up after a moment, glancing up to San for approval.

“You’re doing so good,” he encouraged with a warm smile. “You have no reason to be nervous, okay? You’re probably doing like, a thousand times better than my first time.” 

Yunho took that as encouragement to move his mouth back down, wetting it first with a few licks before slowly easing back into a rhythm, however slow and hesitant. He worked into a comfortable pace, up and down, making sure to pay attention to his breathing. This was harder work than he thought.

"Don't be afraid to use your tongue— _ah_ —right there." San's legs squirmed and twitched under him, and restrained whines escaped through the subtle part in his lips. Yunho glanced through his lashes to catch a glimpse of San’s expression, held tilted to reveal that dreamlike jawline, red lips parted, singing sweet praises. Oh god, it was so much better than he thought. 

He sunk down a bit deeper now, twisting his hand at the base as his mouth took care of the rest. He wasn’t skillful by any means, but his effort increased tenfold just at the sheer sound of San’s congratulations.

A deep growl rolled through San's throat, and Yunho felt his hand tighten in his hair, pulling desperately at the strands. "That's good baby, just like that." 

That _baby_ again. Yunho was going to going to fucking lose it. His eyes would have rolled to the back of his head if it weren't for his laser-focus on his technique, doing his best to keep a steady rhythm without choking. He pushed down again, challenging himself to go another inch now. His pace increased with his confidence, and slowly but surely he worked San up until he was tugging at the strands, pulling so hard it almost stung, a string of curses melting off his tongue like a mantra. 

“Fuck—Yunho—keep going baby, I’m close,” he gasped between breaths, voice high and desperate. 

That was Yunho’s final push. He pumped his hands enthusiastically, pressing his tongue down further, swirling it around against the skin as he worked his head up and down. 

A final moan rocketed from San’s mouth as he cursed, his legs shaking under him as he came. Yunho tasted the salty liquid coating his tongue, warm and viscous. 

“Oh god, I forgot to—here, you can spit in this if you—” San scrambled to reach for his night stand, supplying Yunho with an empty cup for his spit, but Yunho had already swallowed it. 

“No need,” Yunho said with a soft smile. “It wasn’t bad.”

San’s words came out between panting, blissful breaths. He glowed in the soft LED lights, skin glistening with the beginnings of sweat, eyes sparkling in post-orgasm ecstasy. “I’m impressed. Most people don’t swallow their first time.”

Yunho smiled shyly in response. “So… how’d I do?”

“Incredible for your first time. I mean, you got me to cum. Trust me when I say that’s not as easy as it sounds.” _That sounded like a challenge, San._ “How do you feel?”

“Exhausted.” 

San erupted into a laugh. God, his laugh was like angels singing to Yunho, who was experiencing his own version of post-orgasm bliss, without the orgasm part. He couldn’t care less about that right now though—today was about pleasing San, and just that was satisfying enough on its own.

“C’mere.” San guided him to his feet, placing both his hands on Yunho’s forearms and pulling, sending him toppling onto the mattress. 

They laid there for a while, limbs entangled in each other’s. Their shirts found their way off at some point or another, and they exchanged leisurely kisses as they cuddled, talking about anything and everything that was on their minds. 

Yunho had never experienced anything like this before, not with a girl, not with anyone. Something about it felt so entirely _right._

Their chests heaved in playful giggles, and Yunho’s jaw ached from smiling so much. Their laughter died down eventually, morphing into something much softer. They held each other for a while, letting the warmth of each other’s chests comfort them. Yunho looked up at San, admiring every curve, every inch of his face, every tiny blemish that he couldn’t help but find endearing. He stared into San’s eyes, and they sparkled back silently, reflecting the dim pink light in the room.

Yunho traced his fingers slowly against San’s chest, ghosting his fingers across his collar bones. He leaned in, planting kisses down the bone, along the creases, digging his fingers into San’s waist. He felt San breathe and squirm slightly underneath him, and he digged in harder, littering kisses everywhere he saw fit. It wasn’t necessarily sexual, but he had the strongest urge to just kiss every last inch of skin on San’s body, praising and worshipping every curve, every crease, every last bit. 

But another, stronger thought was blooming in Yunho at that moment—one that took over every part of his body, one that commanded him to speak despite his fear of the response. 

“San.”

“Mhm?”

Yunho tossed the words out of his mouth before he could hesitate. “Will you be my boyfriend?” 

“Yunho…” San’s voice wavered.

“You don’t have to say yes right now. Just think about it.”

“Yunho, I—are you sure you want that?”

“What do you mean? Of course I’m sure,” Yunho assured.

“I mean, are you fine dating someone… like me?”

“Like you? San, who _wouldn’t_ want to date you?”

San’s voice went quieter. “A lot of people, actually.” He paused, pulling his gaze away from Yunho again. “Speaking of, I guess I owe you an explanation for ghosting you like that."

Right, that. In all of the recent events, Yunho all but forgot about San ripping his heart in half. 

“The last guy I liked—well, let’s just say he was less than accepting of my profession. He… he even called me a whore, said I was disgusting. Since then, I’ve been terrified of it happening again. I really, really liked you Yunho. I just didn’t want to mess things up.” He paused. “That wasn’t the first time, either. I’ve dated some other guys before, but they just couldn’t get over the fact that there were thousands of people watching my streams every night.”

He continued. “So I… I sabotaged it. I was scared. I never meant to hurt you, but I was scared of getting hurt myself. And after that, well, I figured you probably hated me for doing that to you, so I didn’t reach out. I hated myself for it…” He paused again for a moment, trailing off at the end of his sentence. “But then I saw your comment on my stream, and at first I was shocked, but then I felt… relieved, I guess? Because you were there watching, even donating, and to me that meant, well… you didn’t think I was disgusting.” 

“Of course I don’t think that, San. I don’t care about that,” Yunho reassured. “And those guys who did—well, they don’t deserve you anyway. I swear, I’m not going to be like the rest of them.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” Yunho leaned forward, landing a soft kiss on San’s lips. “Seriously, you don’t have to worry about that with me.”

“And… I know it’s a lot to ask, but can you forgive me? For hurting you, I mean. I’m really, really sorry Yunho. I shouldn’t have run away from my insecurities at your expense. It wasn’t fair of me.”

Yunho flashed a tender smile. “Already forgiven.”

“God, what did I do to deserve you?”

“You never answered my question, you know.”

“What question?”

Yunho's voice wavered as he opened his mouth. He'd said it with such confidence before, so why was it so hard now? “Will-will you be my... boyfriend?”

San's expression went warm, and Yunho breathed a sigh of relief. “I’d love to.” 

San drew him back in for another gentle kiss. But this time, it wasn’t as San, the guy he knew. It was at San, his _boyfriend._

“You did a great job today, by the way,” he said as he pulled back. His head came forward until his breath was ghosting over Yunho’s ear, sending chills down Yunho’s neck and ricocheting through his spine. “Next time, I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk straight.”


	7. date-night

“Yunho, over here!” San’s hand came up in an exaggerated wave, beckoning him over to his spot outside the movie theater. 

He was leaned against the wall, model proportions strikingly apparent from his position and— _dear god_ —that outfit. His tiny waist was cinced in by a studded belt, erupting into broad, muscular shoulders, accentuated by the tight black long sleeve turtle neck he tucked in below his pants. A long silver earring dangled from one ear. 

He looked like Yunho’s antithesis—the dark knight to his softer, princely aura. 

What on earth was San so dressed up for? They were about to enter a dark movie theater, so it wasn’t like he needed to look good for anyone but Yunho, who would have thought San looked good dressed in an empty potato sack. Yunho liked that about San, though—he liked that he always put careful effort into his appearance, even when it wasn’t necessary. He liked that he could show him off, walking proudly next to him in a way that said _This one’s mine_. 

Yunho wasn’t quite sure if he was entirely on board with public affection though. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to—in fact, all he could think about was his hands all over San, exploring the curves of his body, arm around his tiny waist, pulling him in tightly, claiming San as _his_.

As he stared at San, lips slightly parted, drool pooling in the corners of his mouth, his mind wandered. Since the last time he saw San, he hadn’t been able to get his words out of his head:

_“Next time, I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk straight.”_

San had simply laughed it off playfully after he said it, but Yunho couldn't get it to stop playing on repeat like a goddamn broken record. But as he looked at San now, smiling innocently with those devastating dimples, eyes shining brighter than the sun, he could only think of fucking him into the ground.

Those thoughts would probably have to wait. For now, he had a date with San at the movies. He wasn’t sure what movie they were there to see, but it didn’t really matter. He was just there to be with San. He probably wouldn’t be paying too much attention to the film, anyway. 

San held two flimsy slips of paper between his fingers as Yunho approached, “Already got the tickets.”

Yunho retrieved one from San, who was already leaning forward towards him to deliver a soft peck on his lips.  
  
“You look good, baby,” he purred, glancing up and down at Yunho’s outfit. _Baby._ San’s fingers curled around Yunho’s hand, squeezing softly. “C’mon, I wanna get some snacks.”

“Y-yeah, okay,” Yunho stuttered, his eyes locked on where their fingers threaded together. San was bold, he’d give him that. Yunho wasn’t sure he was ready for public affection yet, but it seemed San had made that decision for him. He wasn’t complaining, but his heart drummed nervously in his chest, and he felt suddenly self-conscious about how sweaty his palms felt. 

San bought a large popcorn for them to share, a box of candy and two drinks. Yunho couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone to the movies without sneaking in his own food. Those movie theater prices should have been illegal. 

They settled into their seats near the back of the theater. It wasn’t particularly busy, with only a small crowd of people in seats further up. Apparently, the movie was a rom-com—admittedly, not Yunho’s favorite genre, but he wasn’t paying too much attention anyway. He was, instead, focused on San’s hand resting on his thigh, squeezing and rubbing lightly against the fabric of his jeans. Yunho squirmed under his touch—it was a bit pathetic how even rubbing Yunho’s thigh had Yunho practically rutting his hips up for relief. As they watched the movie, San’s hand ascended slowly, barely a centimeter each time, rubbing and squeezing absently. 

Yunho glanced at him a few times, but San’s eyes were locked on the screen, his other hand moving to place pieces of popcorn in his mouth. Yunho admired the curve of his jaw and the beauty of his profile. He’d never seen someone with such a perfect bone structure, as if he was crafted from stone. But he was so much softer than stone—soft skin, soft curves, soft lips, soft hair. 

San’s hand traveled higher— _oh god_ —higher, until it was tracing along the soft bulge of Yunho’s crotch, toying his fingers along the metal pull tab of his zipper. Yunho’s breath hitched in his throat. He was certain San could hear his heartbeat from the way it pounded ruthlessly in his chest. What was San—

San palmed over the area, rubbing in circles around the fabric until Yunho was squirming.

He felt San’s eyes on him for the first time since the movie started. He felt San close in, breath against his ear, his warm breath sending chills down his spine as he spoke in a hushed whisper. “I wanna touch you. Can I?”

Yunho only nodded feverishly. He felt San’s lips press against his ear softly, planting slow kisses along his ear lobe and then down his neck. Yunho glanced around nervously, suddenly acutely aware that he was in a very-much- _public_ place. It was dark where they were, lit only dimly by the movie screen. They were far from the other movie-goers, but something about it still felt taboo. So why did that make Yunho want it even more?

San’s lips ghosted over the sensitive skin of Yunho’s neck, placing drawn out, quiet kisses down the surface. He undid Yunho’s zipper as carefully as possible to avoid the inevitable _rip_ of the zipper unraveling, which would certainly incriminate them. 

San’s lips made their way back up to his ear. “Now you have to be good and not make any noises, baby, okay?” Yunho nodded again. “Good.”

San’s fingers pushed beneath the hem of Yunho’s underwear, pushing it down below his cock and guiding the band down, helping his dick spring to life. He wrapped his fingers around the base confidently, giving it a few precursory pumps before moving his fingers to the tip, swirling his thumb around the newly-formed droplets of precum. 

Yunho’s eyes fell forward to the screen, trying his best to feign normalcy as San’s hand crept up and down his shaft, pumping slowly—fuck—so torturously slow. Yunho melted into the theater seat. His lower lip stung at the way his teeth clamped down on it, stifling any noises that threatened to form from his throat. 

This went on for longer than Yunho could keep track of—much like the movie, which was becoming a blur of background noise to the _real_ show: San’s expert movement, pumping, twisting, applying all the right pressure. It was sickening how good he was at it. 

_Fuck_. The credits already?

San’s hand removed itself, and Yunho glanced at San with a look of despair as the other moviegoers started to gather their things and head up the aisle. He scrambled to shove his still-hard dick back in his jeans, but San was five steps ahead. San’s jacket, which had been draped over the arm of the chair next to him, fell on his lap in a bundle, concealing his lewd display just in time for the rest of the audience to file by. Yunho’s widened eyes softened slowly with relief. 

The corner of San’s lips twitched up into a devastating smirk. “Guess we’ll just have to wait ‘til later tonight to finish.”

“You’re evil,” Yunho whispered back teasingly. He was only half-joking. San was giving him a serious case of blue balls. 

“First, there’s somewhere I wanna take you.”

  
\--  
  
  


“A bar?”

“A _gay_ bar.”

Yunho glanced up at the sign: _The Wonderland Bar_.

San’s hands guided him by the shoulders to the entrance, and he swung the front door open hesitantly. The first thing Yunho saw when he got in the door was the boy he’d met before in San’s apartment, Wooyoung, who seemed to be waiting for their arrival. He couldn’t forget that face anywhere. Or that personality. 

“Sannie!” Wooyoung's arms clamped energetically around Sans neck, nuzzling against him in an embrace. He landed a peck on San's cheek. “Ooh, you look sexy, babe.”

San glanced at a Yunho, whose complexion had probably gone ghostly-pale. He shrugged Wooyoung off his shoulders with a dismissive chuckle. “Heh, thanks. You too.”

Wooyoung ignored San’s brush-off, clinging on to San’s bicep affectionately. “Aw, what’s that all about? Is someone shy today?”

San shot Yunho an apologetic glance, batting Wooyoung away again. “Sorry, Wooyoung doesn’t exactly have any concept of personal space.”

Wooyoung winked flirtatiously. “Aw, Sannie. Don't act like you haven't had your tongue down my throat.”

Yunho’s heart dropped to his stomach, and his chest burned tightly. _His tongue down his throat?_ The image made him feel nauseous. San swore up and down they were just friends, so why was he being so weird about it now? And why was Wooyoung being so flirty? He’d already practically touched San more times today than Yunho had. 

“Or that time when—”

San cleared his throat, cutting Wooyoung off mid-sentence. "Woo, you remember Yunho. My _boyfriend_."

"Ooh, that's right. Mr. Massive Dick. We gonna see you again on stream soon?" 

Yunho laughed nervously. "Oh, uh… yeah, probably, I—”

"We're working him up to it," San interjected. _Thank God._ Yunho had no idea how to talk to this kid. 

"Well, have fun with my Sannie," Wooyoung teased, glancing over at San, then back to Yunho with a sly, tipsy smile. "He can be a real handful in bed. Need any pointers, just let me know." 

_In bed?_ Yunho’s heart collapsed in on itself. How the hell would Wooyoung—

San's hand clamped lightly on Yunho's forearm, tugging him in the opposite direction as Wooyoung. His teeth gritted together slightly as he spoke. "Hey, Yunho, wanna come to the bar with me for drinks?" 

Yunho felt his chest tighten, burning with heat.

"Don't mind him," San cut in, almost as if he read his thoughts. "He's wasted. He has no filter when he's drunk, just starts rambling." 

Yunho chose not to press it too much—he sensed San's discomfort as he pulled him towards the bar. They were there to have a good time, after all.

“What do you want, baby? Drinks are on me.”

Yunho’s cheeks burned with a hot blush at the pet name. It didn’t matter how many times San said it—he hadn’t gotten used to the way it made him feel, the way it made his knees feel weak.

“Just a coke. I don’t exactly want a repeat of last time.”

“Right,” San gave a teasing grin. “I forgot how lightweight you are.” 

He leaned onto the bar counter, beckoning the bartender over with two fingers raised. “Jongho! Can you start a tab for me?”

He was on a first name basis with the bartender? Of course he was.

The bartender—Jongho, as San referred to him—retrieved San’s card. “New guy, huh?” he asked as he readied the tab. 

_New guy_? Just how many guys had San introduced to his friends before? 

“Jongho, this is Yunho, my boyfriend. This is his first time here.”

“Well, welcome. If you need anything, or if this troublemaker gets into something he shouldn’t, just let me know,” he said with a friendly grin. “What’ll you have?”

“Vodka cranberry for me, he’ll just have a coke.”

“Rum?”

“Virgin.”

Jongho prepared the drinks, readying them at the bar counter. San chatted with him for a bit, catching up, as Yunho sipped at his coke quietly. 

A loud call came from across the room—that high pitched voice Yunho could recognize from a mile away. “Sannie! Look who made it!”

San’s head whipped around at the same time as Yunho’s. Wooyoung stood near the entrance of the bar, holding both arms up in the air, each attached to a different man’s hand. 

On one side, a smaller man, even shorter than Wooyoung. His features were unique and eye-catching, his hair a bright strawberry red, falling around his eyes. He wore a sheepish smile, and looked slightly uncomfortable from Wooyoung touching him. On the other, a taller one, though not as tall as Yunho, with the proportions of a god and a strikingly intimidating face. He had ash gray hair that fell to one side, nearly obscuring his eye. He wore a more serious expression that said something along the lines of _What did I get myself into?_

They pushed through the crowd, weaving through busy tables and bustling groups of tipsy bargoers to where San and Yunho stood.

“These losers finally decided to get their asses out of the house and show up for once!” Wooyoung sang as he guided them by the hands to the bar. “You guys are way too domestic. You _never_ come out with us.”

San addressed Yunho, who was rightfully confused about their new company.

“Yunho, these are my friends, Hongjoong,” He gestured to the redhead first, then to the taller one, “and Seonghwa.” 

The two had wriggled out of Wooyoung’s tight grip on their hands, moving near each other now. Seonghwa’s arm nestled around Hongjoong’s shoulder, his fingers absently threading between his cherry-red locks of hair. San really wasn’t kidding when he said all his friends were gay. 

San continued their introduction. He felt San’s arm snake around his waist, pulling their sides flush against each other. “Guys, this is Yunho, my boyfriend.”

Yunho was losing track of how many times San had called him his boyfriend today. This wasn’t new knowledge to him, but hearing San actually say the words so many times was making it feel so entirely _real._

San’s fingers gripped tighter into the fabric of Yunho’s shirt, whose knees were going weak at the slightest touch.

_“I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk straight.”_

San’s grip grew tighter still. Yunho’s limbs felt like jello. 

“Nice to meet you,” Yunho said, doing his best impression of a person who wasn’t so horny they were about to lose it in the middle of a crowded bar. He suppressed a wince at the uncomfortable way his cock ached in his jeans. 

“Be gentle with him, guys,” San said, glancing up at Yunho with endearing eyes. “It’s his first time in a place like this.”

They found a large table to sit at, and San’s friends returned with drinks of their own.

Hongjoong leaned over, elbows on the table in front of him. His head rested in his hands, and he addressed Yunho directly. “So, never been to a bar before, huh? I’m surprised San went for someone so innocent.”

“Never been to a _gay_ bar,” San corrected. “But he is innocent. I mean, he works at a flower shop.”

“That’s adorable.” 

“That’s what I said!” Wooyoung chimed in from across the table. “So unlike San to go for the innocent ones.”

Yunho was quiet, unsure of how to respond to any of this. He felt small as they joked, shrinking further into a self-conscious spiral. He didn't usually go for the innocent ones? Did that mean he wasn't San's type? 

“So, never been to a gay bar then, huh?”

“Yeah, I uh, well... San would be…” he stuttered, struggling to find the right words. “My first guy—uh—boyfriend.”

Seonghwa chuckled from the seat beside Hongjoong. His arm was still firmly around the redhead’s shoulders protectively. “Now _that’s_ like San. Bagging straight guys was always your specialty.”

San’s cheeks lit up an incriminating bright red, and a sheepish grin formed on his lips as he sipped his vodka cranberry.

Wooyoung leaned in, studying Yunho’s face. “I mean, he’s pretty cute though, right? Not my type, but I’d still totally fuck you.”

“Wooyoung—” San cut in. “Don’t scare him off.”

Wooyoung chuckled, holding up his drink glass. “Oops, sorry, babe.” 

They talked for a while—well, it was mostly Wooyoung talking, with the rest of them occasionally getting a word in. Yunho didn’t say much, really only talking when he was addressed directly. Despite that, he did like San’s friends. Well, except Wooyoung—he might take a while to get used to, like an acquired taste. 

He had been spacing out for a bit, thinking of nothing much in particular, when he felt San’s hand, which had been resting on his thigh pretty much the entire time they’d been there, squeeze tightly.

“We should get heading home. Yunho has work tomorrow morning, so we shouldn’t be out too late.” San announced as he swirled the ice around in his now-empty glass. That was a lie—Yunho was off tomorrow, and San knew it. San leaned into Yunho’s ear in no way inconspicuously, lowering his voice to a deep whisper. “What do you say we go finish what we started earlier?”


	8. feather-light

San fumbled disjointedly at the key in the lock of his apartment door as Yunho’s lips littered desperate kisses down San’s neck from behind, marking little red constellations down the nape of San’s neck. 

“Shit, you’re eager,” San laughed under his breath, bookended by small moans of pleasure at the way Yunho’s lips nipped at his skin—slow and drawn out, savoring the way San melted underneath him. 

“I’ve been waiting for this all day,” Yunho mumbled breathlessly against San’s neck between heated kisses. He could feel his hot breath reflected back at him off San’s skin. “I don’t want to wait another fucking second.”

The lock clicked, and San tested the doorknob briefly before shoving through with the force of his body against the door. 

Yunho already had his hands pushed up under the hem of San’s turtleneck before they were halfway into the apartment, discarding their shoes blindly somewhere along the way. His fingers couldn’t find their grip anywhere in particular, instead grasping frantically at any inch of flesh he could get his hands on, skimming along the curves of his waist, making soft circles on his chest, swirling the pads of his fingers around San’s nipples. 

San’s arms pulled around Yunho’s neck, using his shoulders for stability as his hands threaded through Yunho’s messy cotton-candy hair. Yunho could feel San’s grip tighten every time a needy moan escaped those perfect lips. 

Their feet carried them blindly to the bedroom, not even bothering to waste precious time fumbling for a light switch in the dark. Instead, Yunho let San guide him while he worked to remove as many clothes as physically possible from San’s body, starting with his shirt. He squeezed his fingers around San’s bicep, lean, but well-built, following the subtle creases of the muscle. 

He wanted to fucking _worship_ San. He wanted his hands on every inch, he wanted his lips marking him from head to toe. He tasted sweet, like the cranberry from his drink, and sweet because he was _San_. 

They stumbled back onto the mattress, San’s back coming down first, followed by Yunho tumbling on top of him. His hands fell on either side of San’s head, pinning him in. He realized he was still wearing his shirt as San’s hands fisted in the fabric, tugging at it to indicate he wanted it _Off, now_. Yunho happily obliged his wordless request, tossing it into the ether. The rest of the room was a black abyss to him, despite the pink and purple LED lights which illuminated the room dimly—San had never turned them off, he guessed. 

Yunho’s thigh was positioned at San’s crotch, and he pressed his knee lightly in, creating the slightest pressure for San to rut himself against. He ground slowly against it as they kissed, sloppy and desperate. He delighted in San’s moans beneath him, watching him hump his thigh for a bit of release. Fuck, he was hot. Yunho was acutely aware of the way his cock throbbed in the uncomfortable fabric of his pants. In fact, both of them were still wearing entirely too many clothes. 

His palms pressed deep into San’s skin with so much pressure he felt as though his fingers might sink all the way in with the way that San was melting under his touch. 

"Baby, relax," San purred, barely able to catch his breath between Yunho's harsh kisses. "We have all night."

"You have no idea what you do to me," Yunho mumbled, blunt fingernails digging holes in San's waist. 

San's hand wandered down to palm Yunho's bulge through his pants, ghosting over it torturously. "Oh, I think I have some idea," he said smugly, and Yunho could feel a smirk twitching up on San's lips against his mouth.

San began to sit up from underneath him, forcing Yunho to do the same. He guided Yunho’s shoulders to the plush pillows, gesturing for him to sit down. Yunho obeyed without question, and San discarded the rest of his clothes before following, swinging his leg over Yunho’s, straddling his knees. 

San helped Yunho slip his jeans off, then began tugging at the band of his underwear and pulling, unveiling Yunho’s cock for the second time that day. It awakened as if it had never slept in the first place—and it practically hadn’t, it had been aching in his jeans since San had touched him in the movie theater, and San had awakened it nearly hourly at the bar, every time he so much as grazed his fingers over Yunho’s skin.

San's small hands wrapped delicately around it before connecting his tongue with the tip, giving it a kitten-lick. 

"Pretty," he cooed, eyes soft and pleading as they met Yunho's. Lust sparkled beneath the surface. "I wanna choke on it."

Yunho's soul practically escaped through his dick, and he couldn't help but choke on air as his breath caught in his throat. San’s forwardness never failed to send shockwaves through him—he never quite understood the appeal of dirty talk until meeting San, experiencing the way his words made his muscles weak and set his nerves endings on fire.

San already got to work, forming his lips around it with a dizzying suction, pushing his head down with impressive force. Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes as he took Yunho's cock deeper, determined to follow through on his statement. An involuntarily gag pushed through his throat as he took it nearly all the way. Yunho felt the tip rubbing against the back of San's throat, and he fisted his hands in San's hair, grasping at the strands to ground himself to reality. 

San looked _devastating_. Puffy, lust-filled eyes, skin glistening with slow streams of salt-water from how deep Yunho was buried in his mouth. He pulled up for a moment with a moan, fighting for air. After a few heavy breaths, he got to work again on the tip, swirling his tongue around the head of Yunho's cock while his hand worked the base. 

Yunho wasn't sure what came over him, but as his fingers played with the messy strands of San's hair, he had the sudden urge to push San's head back down and listen to his choked whimpers. As San clamped his lips around it again, Yunho gave a swift tug downwards, forcing San down all the way again. A muffled moan sent vibrations through Yunho, lighting his whole body on fire. 

"Fuck— _ah_ —that was hot," San moaned breathlessly. "I knew you had it in you. Just for that, I have a treat for you.” 

_A… treat?_

He pulled away, sitting back on the bed in front of Yunho, legs spread open in a lewd display. What was he—

"I want you to watch now, baby. I'll put on a show just for you."

He procured a bottle of lube from his nightstand, rubbing it over his fingers generously, then positioned one at his entrance, twirling around it to distribute the lube. As he pushed one finger inside himself, his head fell back melodramatically, letting exaggerated whines spill off his lips. Yunho was pretty sure his brain was malfunctioning, sending electric pulses through his body, melting his limbs and making his jaw drop under him. He wanted to say something, but all that came out was a small, awe-struck noise. 

San pushed another finger in now, burying them in all the way, letting the noises build into something of a song as his fingers kept a rhythm. His eyes fell on Yunho’s now, keeping eye contact to make sure Yunho’s eyes were on him and only him. And _fuck_ , how couldn’t they be?

Yunho was going to combust at this rate.

As if his current display wasn’t enough, San brought the fingers of his free hand up to his mouth, tugging and prodding at his bottom lip. His tongue parted through, swirling dramatically around his own fingers, lubricating them with the saliva that dribbled down his chin. His eyes rolled back, putting on a good show for Yunho, who thought his whole body was about to shut down.

This was something San would have done on one of his streams, except this time, it was all for Yunho. His, only. And he didn't just have to imagine fucking him afterwards—this time, he could do it. 

"Next time, I'll teach you how to use those pretty fingers of yours to get me off like this," San purred. “But right now I want something else yours inside me.”

He crawled forward, back to where Yunho was sitting. His hands wandered Yunho’s dick absently as he spoke, letting his fingertips flutter and tease over the surface. 

“Can I ask you a favor?”

Yunho sat upright against the pillows, expression going as serious, doing his best to ignore San’s touch slowly unraveling him. “Of course. Anything.”

"I want you to be rough with me. Choke me, slap me, degrade me, whatever you want. Think of me as your fucktoy tonight."

"San—I don't think I can—"

"You can baby. Whatever you do, it's not going to hurt me. You know my safe word if you're worried. Do your worst. I'm a professional, remember."

"San—"

"I want those pretty hands around my throat. Ruin me, please. However hard you think I want you to go, go harder. Use me to get off, okay baby?"

The proposal was tempting. In fact, he'd fantasized about something just like this more times than he could count, but he wasn’t fully confident in his ability to bring those fantasies to reality. They were fantasies, after all. He never expected to be living in them.

His _fucktoy_ . His mind was short-circuiting, and his dick twitched visibly underneath him. He gulped, nodding in agreement. He was going to use San like he wanted to be used. He knew San was submissive--it was wildly obvious from his streams--but he wasn't sure what he _liked_ until now. 

He had felt self-conscious all night about not living up to San's expectations. His friends at the bar had been so surprised at Yunho's innocent, meek demeanor. He needed to prove them wrong. He needed to prove himself wrong. But the hurdle seemed too big to clear. 

“I don’t want… to disappoint you,” Yunho said softly. 

San’s hands formed featherlight trails over Yunho’s chest. “You won’t, I promise. I’ll guide you through it. I wouldn’t push you if I didn’t think you were capable. And really, don’t worry about hurting me. You know my safe word. I’m not afraid to use it.”

Yunho nodded. “I’ll do my best for you.” He paused. “Angel.”

San’s eyes lit up in a way Yunho had never seen from him before. They sparkled against the soft pink lights, but Yunho could clearly make out the way San’s cheeks lit up with blush, suppressing a shy smile. Yunho made a mental note—he liked the pet name.

San moved over to the pillows now, taking the spot where Yunho had just occupied. He displayed himself beautifully for Yunho. Yunho retrieved the bottle of lube from the edge of the bed where San had tossed it, squirting out what he guessed was a good amount. He stroked his cock, readying it until it was slick, and positioned it at San’s entrance. 

“That’s good, baby. Like that,” San encouraged. 

Yunho’s hand’s steadied themselves at San’s waist, which looked tiny in Yunho’s large hands. He felt like he could break San in half if he squeezed hard enough. How could he be so lean and muscular, yet so fragile? 

Yunho pushed in, his nails digging into San's skin, marking him with red crescents. Whimpers passed San’s lips, singing Yunho praises, prompting him to push in further. The pressure was electrifying, but intense. He watched San’s hands scramble against the sheets, then trained his eyes downwards, to where his cock pulsed shallowly in and out of San. The pressure alone was enough to send him over the edge, but the way San’s cock twitched just above where he was buried inside him made his brain melt into mush.

He made a slow pace with his hips, pumping in just a few inches at a time. The compression was almost too much to handle, but he was also scared he’d tear San apart if he wasn’t careful—his girth was nothing to scoff at. 

“Fuck…” San whined beneath him. His hand guided Yunho’s to his throat, and Yunho wrapped his large fingers around it carefully. "Squeeze," San commanded. 

Yunho tested the waters with a light squeeze at first, which was enough to draw a soft whimper from San.

"More," he instructed seriously. Yunho applied more pressure, grasping firmly around San's neck now. "F-fu-uck… Yunho— _ah_ —" 

He rutted his hips against San, pressing in deeper, burying himself nearly all the way in now. San looked like a gorgeous mess, eyes fluttering, rolled slightly back, swollen cherry lips parted ever-so-slightly, skin flushed, the beginnings of tears sparkling in the corners of his eyes. 

Yunho squeezed harder. San's soul practically left his body, eyes rolled back, air-deprived moans struggling to make it through his lips. He was so distracted with his hand gripped like a vice around San's neck he nearly forgot to keep his hips moving at all. 

The pressure around Yunho's dick was overwhelmingly tight as he pushed further in. He'd never experienced anything like that before. He delivered one final thrust to the hilt, hips flush now with San’s as he let his fingers form an unbreakable vice around his neck before loosening them to let San breathe finally.

“You promised—” _thrust_ “—I wouldn’t be able to walk—” _thrust_ “—after this—” San moaned, teeth gritted. “I know you can go harder than that.”

Yunho upped his pace at San’s provocation. His nails clawed into San’s chest. Yunho pulled out, then flipped San over by his hips, hoisting his ass in the air with his elbows propping his chest off the ground. 

Yunho’s view from this angle was dizzying, able to admire the sheer inhuman proportions of San’s tiny body beneath him. The tip of his cock found San’s entrance, prodding at it first before pushing back in. 

His fingers dug into the soft skin of San’s ass, his other hand nestling in San’s hair, tugging lightly as he created a rhythm. His hips slapped against San’s ass lewdly. 

“Is that all you’ve got baby?”

Yunho thrusted even harder, not sure exactly what San wanted from him. He didn’t know if he could go any harder—his hips already ached from pounding so hard, and the tight feeling of San clenching around him was nearly enough to kill him at this pace. His hands moved to pin San’s down at his sides, constraining his movement beneath him. 

“I’ve had—ah—smaller dicks fuck me harder than you—” San taunted. 

_Now he’d fucking done it._ A fire lit under Yunho’s heart. The subtle sparks of jealousy that had been brewing inside him all night flared into a full-blown madness, taking control of his limbs. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Yunho hissed, shoving San’s head into the mattress with a force he didn’t know he had. He could see just enough of San’s face from this angle, his cheeks pushed up against the comforter, to notice a sly smile creeping across his lips. He’d finally pushed Yunho over the edge. What he wanted the whole time—to awaken what was lying dormant inside him. 

“Be good and take it, angel,” Yunho continued, using that pet name that had turned San into a blushing mess earlier. He felt more bold now, and confidence swelled inside him, commanding his words. “And maybe I’ll let you cum.” 

San’s lips zipped together at Yunho’s demands, finally growing quiet, save for those pretty noises that dripped off his tongue. Yunho thrusted roughly, disregarding all semblance of control, letting his lust-fueled rage consume his limbs. 

_Where the fuck was this coming from?_ He didn’t know, but San seemed to like it, if his shaky, whimpering moans were any indication. 

“Look how well you take me,” Yunho cooed. San squirmed under him as Yunho’s hand snaked around to San’s cock, ghosting his fingers over the tip teasingly, making sure his touch was feather-light. “Are you gonna be good for me?”

“Yes—yes, god, I’ll be good—please...” San pleaded. Yunho could hear the genuine desperation in his voice. He clearly wasn’t playing it up anymore. Yunho had really worked him up now.

The tip was slick with a generous amount of leaking precum, which lubricated Yunho’s hand as he matched his rhythm to his thrusts.

A thought erupted in his mind. He stopped his hand suddenly, depriving San of his touch, eliciting a whine of protest. 

“Tell me you’re mine,” Yunho commanded, delivering a harsh thrust to the hilt. 

“I’m yours, Yunho,” San panted breathlessly. 

Yunho fisted his hand in San’s hair, tugging back until San’s eyes met his weakly. “That doesn’t sound like you mean it.”

“ _Ah_ —I’m yours, only yours Yunho, please…”

“Good boy.”

His hand resumed, wrapping back around San’s twitching cock. He kept his pace inside San steady, watching as his body rocked back and forth from the thrusts. It didn’t take much to pull San over the edge, letting out warm spurts of cum into Yunho’s hand and all over the sheets. San’s knees shook, collapsing underneath him.

“Good job, angel,” Yunho praised. He loved the nickname— _angel_. It was so fitting for the way he saw San, like an ethereal being. San was his angel.

Yunho finally let himself reach his climax, the one he’d been holding back painfully since San touched him in the movie theater. It was easy like this—the view alone was single-handedly the hottest thing he’d ever seen: San, a mess underneath him, weak and shaking, his back marked and scratched with red, tears sparkling in his puffy eyes, hair ruffled and messy from where Yunho had been pulling. His orgasm swelled inside him, a crescendo of electricity building through his chest and then down. He let go with a final thrust, his hips flush with San’s as he emptied every last drop inside him.

Then it all hit him at once—the exhaustion tugged at his limbs, and he collapsed on the mattress next to San as soon he pulled out.

They laid there panting for an amount of time Yunho couldn’t keep track of. Their eyes stayed locked, and they started at each other silently as they both did their best to catch their breath. He could have sworn he’d gone in and out of consciousness a few times. 

They were both a mess—sweaty, sticky with cum, marked and red and messy. Despite that, San still looked like an angel. _His angel_. 

San opened his mouth after a while, still slightly breathless as he spoke. “You did so good, baby. I think you’re ready.”


End file.
